Sofa So Good

Recliners 1 - 3 Barely Athletic

Alan

Dave            Colin           Danny          Graham

           Sam             Jim S           Richie                Paul Taverna

  Adam         Gareth

subs:
Batts
Neil
Chris
Laurie
Paul L
Paul Tovey
Darren
Mike

Tonight's headline comes courtesy of Batts, whose incentivised pay package of budget confectionary continues to prove a hit. Barely didn't produce a sublime performance tonight, but they dug in and made off with the three points anyway.

What with the fixture being contested on a Wednesday night, several of the training ground crew were available for selection. In fact the subs bench was so populous, in the second half all they had to do to keep warm was huddle together, like weirdly-dressed penguins. Richie made a long-awaited return, and he was joined by the lesser spotted Taverna and the (?) debutant Neil. Batts started with two of the three - stationing the energetic Richie in midfield and the almost-as-energetic Paul Taverna on the wing. Several regulars watched on from the sidelines as the game began, with Barely on top.

Recliners had a robust back line, and it looked to be a fairly physical game from the off. But Barely made early hay when Sam sent Gareth scampering - for a big man, he does scamper well - down the right, and his whipped ball in was sent between the keeper's legs by Adam. 1-0 Barely.

But then things began to go oddly wrong, as after an imposing first 20 minutes, Barely started to look a bit out of sorts. Recliners didn't need a second invitation to attack, but they got one anyway, and the away team were all over the shop when a cross was flung in from the right - with Alan out of his box, it was the simplest of headers to level the scores.

Barely needed something to change, and Batts decided the obvious choice was personnel, sending on Chris and Darren to pep things up. Dazza's willingness to, and capacity for, running really fast unnerved the Recliners back line, but Chris' impact was immediate - he surged through about three challenges into the box and let rip a shot that the 'keeper did well to parry. This seemed to lift Barely, and after a moribund ten minutes they finally got back in the game - and ended the half back on top in terms of the scoreline after Paul Taverna's delicate shot/cross (delete as appropriate) sailed into the far corner of the net. 1-2 Barely.

Batts gave a little half-time speech but kept the team as they were. At this point your correspondent was despatched to recover a ball in the trees nearby, but he had the bright idea of recording the audio events to clue him in as to what was happening. We have transcribed the recording faithfully here:

"HUrgghhhhaaaahhhhhhhNohhOoooorrraaaaahhavNowGerrrrittaaauuuuuooooogghaaaauuuuberisitaaaayeahyeahyyeasssOOOOORRRRGHAHHHHHHaaONNNIISSSSEEEEEAAAAAADDDaaaaahhhthatttsUGHOOOOFOhhhhhArrrrraaaahhhuuummhhhhhhfffffUCKOFFFFFF"

It's not exactly Match of the Day but we feel it does give a flavour often missing from match reports.

Back on the pitch all was going a little better than before. Barely were bossing the game again with Paul Loftus and Chris winning the midfield battle - and the whole team seemed to be more compact. Although Alan wasn't exactly a spectator, it was the Recliners goalkeeper who was pulling out the stops, getting a hand to shots from Paul Tovey and Sam, foiling Paul Taverna several times, and eventually foiling him rather illegally, as he shepherded him off the pitch with the ball not really on his mind. Paul converted the penalty himself, before having to retire to rest his hamstring. Really, it should have been Barely's second penalty, after the Recliners defence followed up the tackle of the game on Darren with the most absurd foul directly afterwards - simply hurling his body sideways into the long-suffering Dazza.

At the other end there was time for some silly tantrums after Gareth made what looked like a fair - if rugged - tackle on one of the Recliners, who exploded into an impromptu lecture at Gareth that involved critiquing his hair. Really! Tempers will flair, but lets keep the criticism to either football or questionable parentage.

There were no more goals to be had, and Barely's unbeaten run will continue right up until Sunday - the cup final. Can they extend it then? Man of the Match canvassing took a few diverse directions, but was ultimately shared between Richie and Chris, with three votes apiece.