Barely's Pulchritudinous Play Subjugates Swift

Swift FC 2 Barely Athletic 3

Goal: Nick

Defence: Rich B, Danny, Ian, Tom P.

Midfield: The Other Tom, Andy, Richie, Sam.

Attack: Ioan, Mani.

Watching/line running: Steve and Bob.

Braced for a tough game with only a starting eleven, Barely produced a superlative performance on the day - the only blot on the copybook being Andy (in goal for the second half) punching into his own net in a desperate bid for attention.

Unusually Barely started the stronger, and the fact they went 1-0 down ten minutes in was nothing do with their usual bleary-eyed shamblings, but actually against the run of play. From a rogue corner the Swift number 5 dodged a challenge and swept the ball home through a crowd of players. Barely, looking collectively offended, leveled almost immediately when Ioan tapped a corner ball into the path of Sam, who released an 'exocet' (Richie) or a 'mis-hit cross?' (Mani) into the top corner off his usually inert left peg. Game on.

Barely were back in the box seat and passing the ball around to the manner born. Andy and Richie were bossing the midfield completely and Rich Batten was finding acres of space on Swift's right flank and causing them all kinds of problems. Andy, Bats, and Mani all shot narrowly wide as Barely piled on the pressure without quite realising the goal. Swift were quite capable of the counter-attack too, but Barely's defence was water-tight and the only shots Nick dealt with were in the main hopeful punts.

Half-time came and Andy went in goal for Nick as Steve and Rich negotiated the team shuffle. After some discussion Nick went wide right, Sam into centre-mid alongside Richie. Barely started on top, and indeed went ahead when The Other Tom scooped a ball home from a delightful Barely build-up that almost involved the whole team and is therefore too epic to explain here. Except to say Nick, who had a fabulous half, was certainly involved, turning his way past a challenge in the box and caressing the ball square to Ioan, who set up Richie, who teed up The Other Tom. Or something like that, anyway.

But despite the early blow for Swift, the signs they'd shown at the end of the first half of coming back from Barely dominance were still growing, and there followed a tense period were Barely were forced to defend more. But marshalled by Danny and Ian and with Tom P keeping an eye on Swift's danger man, the back line was resolute, broken only once when Sam - who had earlier scored that amazing goal, if you remember - was on hand to nick the ball off the number 5's toe as he set himself to shoot from close in. Well done, Sam!

However, Swift's leveller was still to come, and Andy, whose handling was otherwise immaculate, was cursing himself when a relatively easy save slipped off his gloves and into the net. It was a blow, but Barely never faltered. Despite the obvious fillip to Swift, it was Barely who saw out the remainder of the game on top - or at least shading things - and they got their winner when The Other Tom grabbed his second with a similar finish to his first to give Barely all three points.

This was a proper Casuals game - two very evenly matched teams playing the game in the right spirit, and credit to Swift for that, as well as some fair-minded refereeing. Of course winning helps too, coating as it does the post-game discussions with a gloss of elation. Man of the Match award voting was widely spread with such a great team effort, but Richie took the gong - metaphorically speaking, as it's still somewhere in the Pinnell household causing arguments - with a landslide 5-1-1-1-1-1-1 result. No Mike around to keep the team on a even keel though, so unfortunately there were lots of tiresome jokes about men in the showers. Come on Barely, really. You're too old for that kind of thing.