Long-Mooted Philosophical Question About Mondays Finally Answered

Barely Athletic 0  Easton Monday 4

Goal: Tom

Defence: Colin, Danny, Batts, Ian

Midfield: Sam, Richie, Lefils, Jacko

Attack: Jim S, Jay

Subs: Nick, Ben

It was one of those end-of-season fixtures that are played with a slightly lassez-faire approach. Safe from relegation, Barely knew they could relax into their game, under no pressure, and who knows? Maybe they'd see off a strong Easton Monday side by merit of some composed passing and cheeky dribbling.

Monday had other ideas though. A fairly big side, they rarely needed to call on their muscle as they passed their way through the Barely ranks like Barcelona would some unheeded bunch of artisans whose moment has long since passed. England, for instance. Barely were dogged, as they always are, but it was the kind of canine who might have looked more at home in front of a roaring fire eating treats; as the rain battered down on Keynsham there was no marshmallow in sight.

At half-time the situation could be looked at optimistically. Barely had held firm consistently enough to only be 1-0 down, and they'd had the odd moment of threat themselves, albeit against the run of play. But any hopes of keeping it tight and nicking an equaliser were dashed on the hour mark, when Monday planted a stooping header into the far post to make it 2-0. Giving in isn't in Barely's nature but the most one-eyed observer would have known they had a big hill to climb.

As Barely pushed upfield in search of a reply they had their best spell of the game, but unfortunately it ended when Monday scored again, the goal this time coming off the unfortunate foot of Danny, whose attenmpted clearance looped backwards over the onrushing Tom. If Barely were a horse they'd have been shot at this point, but fortunately this is the Casuals League and that sort of thing rarely happens (any more).

Another goal moments later put the final nail in this particular coffin and despite another surge from Barely, who don't know when they're beaten, a consolation goal was denied them when Richie's chip was cleared off the line, and the whistle - gamely taken by one of the Monday players - was blown on a bit of a footballing lesson for the boys in orangey-yellow and black-fading-to-grey. Disappointment at the scoreline was the general feeling - no complaints about the result, but it's rarely Barely don't even bother with a poll for Man of the Match. And with the next game against high-flying champions elect Nailsea Old Boys, can Barely lift themselves for a rousing end-of-season finale?

No-one Doubting Thomas

Reunion 1 Barely Athletic 2

Goal: Tom

Defence: Batts, Danny, Ian

Wingbacks: Chris, Sam

Midfield: Richie, Jacko, Nick

Attack: Jim B, Jim S

Subs: Fizzy, Mike, Paul

A sparkling sun shone down on the ideal Casuals League fixture - two teams well-matched, playing out a proper game of footie in mostly-gentlemanly fashion, at a pace a casual observer might have described as sedate, or possibly ambulatory, depending on which side of bed they got out of.

Last season Barely put five past Reunion, but perhaps with that heavy defeat fresh-ish in the memory, Reunion put up a sterner fight today. Danny had a strong set of cards to play with, and he duly shuffled the deck, resting Mike and Paul from the outset (Fizzy arrived late) and decanting the team into an innovative 3-5-2 shape, with Sam and Chris set up as alleged wing-backs. They were convincing enough in the first half; as the game drew nearer it's conclusion Sam, at least, was more like an orthodox Barely right-back - out of breath.

But by that time all kinds of drama had been witnessed. The game was only minutes old when Reunion broke through the back line and charged in on goal. The sight of new signing Tom charging from his line and smothering the ball with aplomb must have sent a charge of confidence jolting through the team, and Barely's early scare passed.

For a while they consigned Reunion to optimistic shots from range, whilst carving out openings for themselves that were either smothered, or narrowly missed. Jim S shot wide; Sam headed over - later blaming his genes for the miss, as his antecedents presented him with the physical properties of a short-arse. Then the breakthrough - Jim Banton was sent through the gap and charged into the penalty area only to be brought down. A penalty, and no arguments from Reunion about it. Jim S tucked the ball into the corner with no flies on it, and Barely were in the lead.

However the sunny disposition darkened slightly when a clean tackle by Reunion saw Jim B land awkwardly on his shoulder. In a lot of pain, he was withdrawn and whisked off to hospital by Man-of-all-Jobs for the day Colin, who had also bravely collected Fizzy from his boudoir for the game. We wish Jim in the best in his recovery, whatever the diagnosis.

On in his stead came the Gallic Powerhouse; now with eyes fully accustomed to daylight, having stood on the sidelines getting changed and presumably undergoing the unique wake-up treatment of listening to Mike's idiosyncratic brand of one-liners. Fizzy shrugged off his lethargy pretty quickly though - within ten minutes he had put Barely 2-0 with a balletic overhead kick into the top corner.

The other stand-out moment of the first half was Tom's instinctive tip-over from Reunion's best chance of the game. This correspondent certainly thought it was in, but Barely seem to have unearthed a gem here - have they finally solved the long-running goalkeeper saga?

Half-time came and Nick made way for Mike, who took up the midfield berth. Paul came on shortly afterwards when Ian felt his hamstring start to complain, and put himself about a bit. But Danny's warning about the game not being over loomed heavy when Reunion scored after a period of confusion. Richie decided that being elbowed in the back was not part of the Casuals ethos and made his way to the perpetrator to tell him so. An impromptu debating group broke out in the middle of the pitch, but play continued around the squabble, and as the rest of the players wondered if and when the Ref was going to take action, Reunion took advantage of the uncertainty to plonk the ball high into the net after a series of failed clearances.

And that was pretty much it. There was no Barely collapse; in fact they came closest to scoring again when Jim S's chipped cross from the right was met by Richie's diving header - but over the bar. After a last five minutes that seemed to go on for aeons, the Ref finally blew time.

Barely have enough points now to stay clear of the drop for another season, so congratulations all around. Man of the Match by a majority was Tom - not for his sterling handling, apparently, but the fact he can actually kick the ball into the opposition half; a Barely first for a goalkeeper. Runners-up were Richie and Batts.

Three more games - can Barely put together a run of form, or will they stick to their Jekyll and Hyde tradition of being totally shite in the next game? All the news, as we get it....