Barely Athletic Golf Society (BAGS) Masters 2007

Friday 8th June 2007, Lansdown Golf Club

The BAGS arrived (minus WAGS, of course) in a state of nervous anticipation for the keenly awaited 2007 Masters Championship….drivers polished, irons scrubbed, tees selected and balls washed (ooh err missus).

This year’s event, however, promised a few new challenges.

Firstly, the weather looked like it might be on our side for once – something of a change for golfers who are more used to battling high winds and torrential rain.
Secondly, a new course against which to pit our (limited) wits and skill. The old venue of Stockwood Vale had served us well, but held too many distracting memories of the follies of youth (for Jim) and equally distracting well-crafted fantasies conjured up by those whom Jim had chosen to share his breast-related Cider with Rosie-esque experiences. Also, Stockwood Vale only ever served Chicken for lunch and Lansdown promised Gammon & Chips with Apple Pie – easy choice!
Lastly, there was the unprecedented challenge of a dress code of all things! Bob, organiser of the day and Lansdown Member, had drilled the BAGS on the requirement for golf shoes, tailored shorts/trousers and collared, ideally pastel shade shirts. Clearly Bob, now possibly regretting offering his Club for the BAGS Masters, feared he may shortly be an ex-Member of Lansdown Golf Club! The BAGS, however, rose to the challenge and would have graced the fairways of Augusta itself. The same though cannot be said of Bob, who turned out in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirt and would not have looked out of place on the set of Miami Vice (as one of the dodgy beach front dealers who hang out under the pier).

Anyway, 10 am came – tee off time. The teams were as follows:

Captain BirdsEye (Quent), Tom & Rich J
Captain Jack Sparrow (Bob), Richie & Billy
Captain America (Jerry), Steve & Danny
Captain Caveman (Ioan), Jim & Nick

A full commentary of the day cannot be given, but suffice it to so say that all drove, chipped, sliced, pulled and putted their way around and a fine time was had by all.
After a remarkably speedy round (it’s all relative, you know) of just under 5 hours (!), the BAGS retired to the Club House for refreshment and the Prize Giving!

Special welcome to two BAGS Masters virgins – Rich J and Tom (a potential bandit, but was decent enough not to win).

Player of the Day (in this Reporter’s opinion) was Jerry who led his team to victory, returned the best score of the day, came joint runner up overall Stableford and Captained the eventual Champion.

A further extra special mention for Ioan who bravely managed to play despite being unable to straighten his leg (after dislodging a chunk of cartilage in his knee - another freak Wednesday night footie injury). Pain killers, freeze spray, roll ups and a stiff upper lip got him through with flying colours though!

Finally, a very big thank you to Bob for organising the event and risking his continued membership of Lansdown. Many thanks Bob!

Golf pics galorious!

Clockwise from left:
1 Danny – 2007 BAGS Masters Champion!

2 Jerry Gyde (again!) Steve Pinnel (left) and Joe ‘Danny’ Daniel (right) scoop the Team Prize.

3 The Champion! Danny receives the BAGS Masters Green Jacket from previous two time winner Ioan Williams. Clearly Danny is a tad surprised by the additional initiation ceremony being performed by Mr Williams from the rear (don’t think this is part of the Augusta Prize Ceremony, which is their loss of course)

4 Time to relax after the Ceremony. Mr Williams, clearly unhappy at something said by Richie, does his Alan Sugar impression – “Cormack, you’re fired!”

5 The BAGS Masters 2007 Competitors!
N.B. those with a keen eye will notice Bob still has his golf shoes on. This is the only sad episode of the day to report – someone swiped his loafers from the dressing room while he was out on the course. If anyone has any information relating to this crime, please contact Crime Stoppers. A reconstruction of the disturbing event will be screened on BBC Crime Watch this autumn.

Golf pics galore

Clockwise from bottom left:
1. Jerry Gyde and David ‘Billy’ Cotton accept the joint runner up prize for the Masters.

2. Bob Lynn (left) accepts the thanks and appreciation of BAGS for organising the 2007 Masters (and the Trinny and Susannah ‘Best Dressed Player Award’).

3. Rich Jackson receives the Nick Ambler Award for ‘Best Value Round of the Day’ (i.e. most shots taken) – golf balls to replace those lost and a cigar (kindly donated to Jim to assist with his pre-season training regime).

4. Tom Pinnel picks up the prizes for Longest Drive and Closest to the Pin (by default as no one actually managed to hit the green on the Closest to the Pin hole)!

5. Ioan Williams (left), Master of Ceremonies, presents Jerry Gyde with the prize for best round of the day.