Gareth
Nick Lewis Batts Colin
Sam Mike Chris Darren
Paul T
Jim S
Sub: John T
The sun was scorching the earth as Barely and Penarth trotted out for an end of season friendly on the final day of the Premier League. As 20 teams of millionaires trotted out to fulfil mostly-meaningless fixtures, the game to be at was at Brunel Academy, where the English of Barely and the Welshmen of Penarth put on one hell of a show.
Batts forewent his preferred 3-5-2 formation, wary of Barely being caught out at the back perhaps. Instead it was a good old-fashioned 4-4-2, with the lesser-spotted Batts (Lewis) partnering his dad at centre-back, and Colin and Nick at full-back.
They were all busy from the outset, as Barely were under pressure from the get-go. Penarth, who were heading off on a European tour in a few days, clearly hadn't come for a stroll in the park. However they found themselves on the end of a rather unflattering scoreline with half an hour played. First of all Jim S rolled back the years when he harassed the Penarth back line into a mistake and did the rest himself: 1-0 Barely. Then Lewis - who if he rolled back too many years might find himself with a mouthful of breast milk - showed that his extended absenteeism from Barelyworld had not diminished his ability, as he took possession in his own half and accelerated all the way down the pitch before rounding the keeper and putting Barely two up.
Then when Sam danced around a challenge just inside the box and finished with aplomb to make it 3-0, it looked like Barely had the game by the scruff of the neck. Unfortunately though, Penarth slipped out of their collars and - as Barely collectively made like a bulb manufacturer on a bank holiday and switched off - the team from Wales surged back to level terms just in time for Barely to troop off for the break with their feet full of holes.
One stirring speech - more of a telling-off, actually - later, and the team took to the pitch determined to make amends. That they did, when after a period of shadow-boxing, Paul Tovey rolled his marker in the box - the attendant challenge came in, bringing him down, and Tovey himself converted the penalty to put Barely back in charge. But, like a triumphant child waving his ice cream around on a hot day, Barely's tears were nearly guaranteed. A defender was in close attendance to the Penarth left-winger when the cross came in, but he still managed to steer a header in at the fast post with Gareth grasping at air.
Nick went in goal and Gareth came out for the last 20 minutes for a rarely-seen run-out in midfield. he immediately made his presence felt in the Barely box, causing the one of the few real flare-ups of the game - another came from the unlikely source of Sam scything down the Pennarth left-back, as both teams looked to pile on the pressure.
Then
There was no man of the match vote, but Batts and Darren both said Sam deserved it, and nobody argued hard enough to stop him imagining the champagne bubbling all over his face.
