Twelfth Man

AXA 4 - 1 Barely Athletic

Goal: Tom
Defence: Colin, Ian, Batts, Sam
Midfield: Richie, Jacko, Paul, Mike
Attack: Adam, later joined by Nick

For most teams the twelfth man is the crowd. For Barely there were numerous suspects, some of them at work, others hungover or unwilling to respond to pained pleas. It was very nearly a ten-man Barely taking on AXA, but thankfully Nick Ambler answered the call. One can only imagine what the scoreline against an outnumbered Barely would have been.

Almost by default Jacko took charge of the line-up, such as it was. Barely's popular and successful 3-5-2 had to be shelved as at kick-off Nick was clambering into his car in Bishopston. Barely reverted to a 4-4-1 with Adam leading a one-man line. And despite the numerical disadvantage Barely began well, or well enough to suggest perhaps they could scrape a penalty shoot-out of the day. The back line was regularly under pressure but at this early stage it did not seem a goal was imminent. Instead it was Barely who somewhat surprisingly took the lead. When Adam was felled 25 yards out the referee - somewhat charitably perhaps - blew for a free-kick. Richie's kick had pace and a bit of swerve, but it was more a combination of keeper error and the skiddiness of the ball that saw it ping into the net of the keeper's attempted save.

As if woken from a torpor, AXA began slicing through Barely at will and within five minutes had surged to a 2-1 lead. First Barely were guilty of some serial non-challenges as an AXA midfielder slalomed his way from the halfway line into the box, where he beat Tom with a low shot to the far post. Then lady luck pulled up her skirts and shat on Batts from on high, as his wellied clearance cannoned off the back of an attacker and over Tom's dive - into the net.

Lesser teams than Barely would have crumbled like a time-lapsed cake in the desert. But of course Barely do not crumble - at least, not today. Instead they staggered and swayed and eventually flailed as AXA pretty much dominated the rest of the game. Adam did an admirable job of running the line but despite Barely's strong midfield the key element of fresh legs - criminally missed in the periodic table - was absent, and it showed. AXA - probably fitter in the main anyway - had the luxury of three subs to choose from, though they were unlucky in losing their midfield general in the second half.

Their key player though was probably their shaven-headed centre-back who comfortably snuffed out almost everything Barely could muster. The closest they came was a snap-shot from Richie (set up by Adam) flying just wide of the post, and a hooked effort by Sam from a corner that was sadly too close to the keeper.

Barely kept going, for while the goal seemed out of sight with the score at 2-1 at least there was a chink of possibility. But that door slammed shit with two identi-goals in the second half - balls flung over from the right and despatched with ease.

With the third the jig was up; and the fourth just rubbed Barely's noses in it really. Despite the score and result though Barely have reasons to be positive - Batts last-ditch tackles, Colin's obduracy, Adam's seemingly bottomless depths of energy... it could be a decent league season. Richie beat them all out for man of the match - he'll get a statue at this rate - but though Barely leave the field with aching limbs and sunken hearts, it was not a day for lowered heads. Add a couple more players to this team and it will be very competitive.