Schoolboy Error

Barely Athletic 2 - 6  St Brendans

Gareth

Nick          Ian             Batts              John T

Sam            Mike                John R               Al

Chris   

Darren

                 

Sub: Paul Tovey 

Barely's run  had to finish sometime, but after an impressive start to the season it was a shame that it ended like this. Perhaps Batts' inclination to postpone should have been heeded: not only were Barely without several stalwarts, including their midfield engine, they also fielded the oldest Barely outfield ever. Not only that, they also had both Chris and Paul carrying injuries - unable to sprint and shoot respectively. Playing at all was their first mistake.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Barely began on the back foot, looking tentative. In fact they spent much of the opening twenty minutes looking second-best, with Batts and his defensive cohorts called on time and again. Gareth was busy too - St Brendans took advantage of the small pitch and their specialist throw-in guy to hurl ball after ball into the Barely box, and they eventually succumbed, as yet another aerial bombardment made its way into the net. Another followed from a corner, as the ball went both under Sam's foot and through Gareth's hands as if laser-guided by a particularly attentive drone missile operator. 

Barely's threat at the other end was sporadic. Darren was putting in a real shift but without the mobility of the likes of Richie and Adam in support, he ploughed a lonely furrow. Nevertheless, even a lonely furrow will bloom every now and again, and when Barely went route one with a big clearance from Gareth, Darren slalomed his way through some challenges before finishing neatly at the near post to put Barely back in the game. 

Maybe on another day that could have been a turning point, but St Brendans struck back quickly with a shot going in off a post, and despite Gareth's exhortations and a break in which to regroup, the game kind of went downhill from there. Paul Tovey came on and showed his usual composure and control, but whenever St Brendans got a throw-in the danger was there. And as always with St Brendans they are happy to play the physical game, the low point of which was an arm in John Rossetti's face that cut his nose open. 

But minor gripes over style aside, St Brendans were well worthy of the win; Barely's consolation goal coming off a defender's head when a cross was diverted into the net. Barely were not without chances, but they were not gilt-edged. Chris, Paul and Sam all had shots from distance, and Sam nearly grabbed a third at the death, but the defender's head just deflected Mike's cross onto his shin instead of his instep, and the ball ballooned up and over the bar. Most agonisingly Al's 20 yard volley sailed fractionally over the crossbar.

So after the highs of the cup game, Barely come back to earth with a bump. The running for Man of the Match was not an overflowing group: though Barely showed determination throughout and Gareth was a busy guy between the sticks, Darren walked away with it for application and a rather special goal. 

Barely now regroup and recalibrate for 2016 hoping to recapture the form they showed in the first three games of the season. 

Recliners Laid Bare

Recliners 1  Barely Athletic 4

Gareth

Nick          Batts         Mike            Adam

Chris           Paul L           Richie           Darren

Lefils          John T

Subs: Jim S, Sam

Barely went into the game with the rare tag of 'undefeated' assigned to them, after a strong start to the season. Recliners were something of an unknown quantity, although Paul Loftus identified their striker as 'a bit handy' having played against him before. With player-of-the-season-so-far Ian out with a mystery injury, Mike stepped into central defence alongside Batts. Sometime guest and now-regular Chris began on the right wing. 

The early game was a fairly even affair, as the teams struggled to hold onto the ball for more than a couple of passes, and both defensive lines held firm. Chris was getting down the right wing but hadn't quite got his crossing sorted early on, though he was finding promising positions. And Barely were growing into the game when a mix-up in the Barely defence put an attacker through on goal. Gareth recovered his feet but buffeted the attacker somewhat excessively, and the inevitable penalty was stroked home to give Recliners the lead. 

Barely hit back. Chris made another surge down the right, and this time sent over the perfect cross for the perfect header - Lefils was there to nod it deftly over the keeper and into the top corner. 1-1. Barely were now shading things; with Gareth called upon less and less as the game progressed. And the visitors took the lead when Darren was barged over in the box. Despite protestations, Fizzy rammed the ball home to put Barely in front. 

The half ended with Barely deservedly in the box seat, then, and with the rolling subs system already in full flow Batts was keeping the legs as fresh as possible.

The first ten minutes of the second half was possibly the best Barely have played in many a moon - Recliners were encamped in their own half for almost the entire time, second to every ball as Barely focussed their attentions down the right side with Adam, Richie and Darren heavily involved. The third goal came when the former set off on a mazy run and was eventually chopped down (or enthusiastically nudged, at least) in the box. Jim took the penalty and Barely were 3-1 up. 

Credit to Recliners, they refused to lay down (- I'm here all week) and engineered some attacks on the Barely goal during the last half hour of the game. But the jig was up for them when Fizzy's cross-shot went in off a defender. A hat-trick for the Frenchman, or an own-goal? The dubious goals committee need to be called in as your correspondent - unsighted at the time - has heard two different versions of the same event.

Either way it was another strong showing from Barely, with Paul and Richie operating in tandem in midfield to good effect and captain Batts having a man-of-the-match-winning game as he mopped up at the back. And their two-game unbeaten streak is now a marginally less-desperate three game one, with 4 points from two games as well as the next round of the cup to look forward to. Heady days.

The Right Type of Runs

St Brendans 2 - 2 Barely Athletic (Barely win 5-4 on penalties)

Gareth L

Adam              Mike           Ian            Nick

Sam            Jacko          Paul L            Al

Lefils

Jim S

Subs: Batts, Darren

Barely don't usually do cup runs. 

Winning a solitary game doesn't usually count as a 'run', but in Barelyworld cup ties are something you either lose, or wear. And if you're going to break something like a 9-year run of losing first-time-out in the cup, why not do it by coming from 2-0 down and knocking out the current champions? 

Barely rolled up with a very decent squad - and a recognised keeper in Gareth, a rarity for the away team. Unbeknownst to them it was also a sign that they were to end the day as victors... as Gareth was to play a key role. 

But from the outset Barely were on top - snuffing out St Brendans' attacks and looking to counter quickly.  With Paul Loftus a driving force in midfield and Fizzy and Jim snapping away, the big St Brendans' number ten - who could pick a pass - found space and time at a premium. It was almost a surprise how much Barely were dictating things... although with this being a cup game, it was less shocking when they fell behind after a half-hour or so. A St Brendans midfielder ghosted to the edge of the box and when the ball was played to him his shot unerringly found the top corner, giving Gareth no chance at all. 

Barely sought to draw level quickly. Sam thought he had won a penalty when his legs were taken from under him in the box, but the ref decided otherwise. Paul hit a shot from distance that sailed wide. And when the break arrived it was an unwanted distraction. Barely had restricted St Brendans to such minimal sights at goal nobody could quite credit being behind. However, it was to get worse before it got better.

Batts changed things around with Darren joining him on the pitch, going left-wing, and Sam and Jacko taking a spell on the touchlines. Gareth gamely volunteered to stay in goal. The first five minutes of the second half was a microcosm of the first, as with Fizzy and Jim leading the charge, Barely looked to be the most-likely team: only to concede again by virtue of a rather laid-back approach to marking. A hefty throw-in bounced into the Barely box and was tucked away neatly to put St Brendans 2-0 up - defending straight out of the Ardilles handbook. 

One might have forgiven Barely for losing interest, as their long-held habit of imploding in the cup looked to continue for at least another year. What had resembled a defensive fortress was being made to look like a bouncy castle by the unflattering scoreline. 

But a metaphorically-infantile Barely is a dangerous Barely, and they bounced back. Jim and Adam twice burst down the right only to find their team-mates performing a kind of Paul Gascoigne chorus line as they serially slid in and just missed the ball. So, sent away by a delightful Jacko chip, when Jim found himself in a similar position he went for a powerful shot into the far corner. 2-1.

With their tails up, Barely continued to search for the equaliser as St Brendans struggled to contain the movement of Jim and Fizzy - with Adam also breaking forward at every opportunity. But it was the sheer manic belief of Paul Loftus that manifested itself in a goal, as he took the opportunity to charge forward and apply the finishing touch on a cross from the right. 2-2, with ten minutes to go. With no time for extra time, could Barely win it in the 90? 

No. Despite pressure - and some purposeful counter-attacks from the far-from-despondent St Brendans - time was called with the scoreline two-all and penalties beckoning. 

St Brendans take the first one and tuck it away              1-0

Sam passes Barely's first low to the keeper's left       1-1

St Brendans slots in despite a touch from Gareth           2-1

Fizzy's low shot also has power:                                  2-2

St Brendan's goalie took their 3rd - saved by Gareth!!   2-2

Ian shoots unerringly home                                          2-3

St Brendans score again                                                   3-3

Jim Siemens keeps his word and goes low                   3-4

St Brendans score their fifth to give them hope:              4-4

But Paul Lofts slots home to create history                 4-5

And Barely went whooping and hollering across the pitch, like bunnies on crack.

It was fitting that Ian, Paul and Gareth all played a key role in the shoot-out as on a day of strong showings they also led the votes for Man of the Match - Ian shading the win by a hair, having looked impassable at the back - and, like every Barely player, looking to keep possession at every opportunity. 

But truly, it was a great team performance: Jim's goal was classy. Paul's was a thing of driving determination. Darren's presumably-unrehearsed lecture on the appropriate use of swearing was both moral compass and comic relief. And both the ref and the teams played the game, to a large degree, in the right spirit.

They say history is written by the winners (other versions are available - see last two seasons' posts) and for a change Barely have the chance to write their name on the cup - unless of course they feel that one win is enough for the next nine years or so. Time will tell... either way, a very solid start to the season and a stirring comeback into the bargain. One might even say classic Barely - except going by tradition, it clearly wasn't.

The Rossetti Stones

Axbridge Saxons 1 - 1 Barely Athletic

Mike

Nick            Danny          Ian          Sam

Adam          Jacko          Fizzy

John T         Jim S        John R

Subs: Batts, Dave, Paul L

if you google John Rossetti 1973 this happens

The first day of the new season finally arrived, and Barely scrambled southwards for an opening fixture against Axbridge. The last time they were in Churchill, Barely departed with their tails between their legs, having been spanked 5-0. But even though they arrived, as is tradition, with no specialist keeper (like last time) and a forward line with a combined age of 158, Barely were cautiously optimistic. On that fateful day, three of Saxon's goals had been attempted crosses, one a deflection off a defender when going wide... if they could avoid that kind of bad luck again, surely Saxon would only score one genuine goal, right? - right.

The game began with Saxons shading things as Barely sought to shrug off their rustiness. But despite a rather indifferent start, Batt's novel 4-3-3 venture soon began functioning as though it had been running since the industrial age - in a good way. Although it meant Axbridge did most of their attacking down the wings (more of that in a moment), when Barely had the ball they were causing the Axbridge back line problems. Several times the ball was sent towards the net only for Barely to discover the Axbridge goalie was both mobile and blessed with good handling.

But when John Trimble and John Rossetti sliced through the defense once more around the half-hour mark, the latter picked out the bottom right corner with aplomb, leaving the keeper stranded and finally beaten.

To a large degree Barely remained on top until the break, but when it arrived Axbridge were level, as their right-winger beat Sam to the ball - not for the first time - and finished with a thumping shot past Mike. It wasn't fair on Mike, who had been deftly taking care of business on the odd moments he'd seen the ball. And though Barely nearly snatched the lead again with a classic Paul Loftus effort from a corner; his header sailing a fraction too high with the keeper beaten, the half ended with Barely feeling they could and should have been ahead.

Batts moved Sam to right-back and gave various folk a rest to give himself a run at left-back, new boy Dave taking up the left-midfield slot as Fizzy moved central. Mike took up a midfield position also as Nick went between the sticks. It was the start of an ever-turning wheel of sub-rotation that served Barely well.

The second half began much as the first ended - both teams threatening but metaphorically more of a wagging finger than an attempted punch. Barely's back line tightened with Batts present and Sam more comfortable on the right - but Nick was still called upon to make a couple of saves: one of which belied his status as fifty-something as he flung himself left to beat the shot away with his fists.

At the other end Barely were building a head of steam around the penalty area, but never to the point were the Axbridge keeper was really tested. Shots went either wide or straight into the keeper's midriff, and as time ticked away under an unseasonably hot September sun, the game had the feeling of a draw. Both teams had chances to win, but Axbridge were foiled by the aforementioned antics off Nick, and Barely couldn't quite find their cutting edge - though Rossetti almost stole the points at the death as a loose ball came to him in the area, but didn't quite make the connection.

The whistle went on a fair result then, well-refereed it must be said and generally played in the right spirit. Nick's double shift earned him Man of the Match along with Ian, who had put in a robust a performance as ever in central defense. Barely left the ground satisfied with a point, and optimistic about Batt's favored formation making a convincing debut. A solid start to the new season.

*apologies for naming errors, I don't have a large database of surname spellings

** apologies for factual errors, I don't have the memory I may have used to have

Battle of the Puns

Barely Athletic 5 The Bristols 1

Marcus

Nick              Danny           Colin               Batts

Darren         Ian           John R                     Mike

Paul         Adam

No subs. Sam played for The Bristols.

Such was the interest in this debut, inter-gender fixture from Barely perhaps next season's Sunday games should have an air of mystery to them. Not for a long time have Barely had so many players volunteers for duty have actually been turned away.

As it was numbers on both sides swelled to the point a full pitch was booked and, with Barely's 12 versus The Bristols ten, Sam volunteered to change sides so everybody got a full game.

His first task - as interim goalie - was to pick the ball out of the net as Barely began strongly. After Paul swung in a ball from the Barely right, it pinged around the box momentarily before Adam managed to catch it just strongly enough to watch it bounce between Bristol defenders and into the net. A series of Barely corners followed and it looked like their substantial advantage in experience - The Bristols play 7-a-side and are considerably younger - might make the game rather lopsided.

But The Bristols didn't come second in their fledgling season for nothing, and grew into the game. Their French maestro at the back, Elody, began carrying the ball out of defense and deftly avoiding attempted tackles. In midfield they started putting together little one-twos and playing triangles around Barely. Only in the final third were The Bristols blunted; a lack of firepower meaning Danny, Ian, Nick and Colin were mopping things up with comparative ease. And the Bristols emerging force in possession was undone when Mike added a second goal with around half an hour played.

The teams changed ends and had a water break, with Barely satisfied with the lack of scares and The Bristols hoping to build on the platform of their ability to play through the Barely midfield - which seemed to consist of John, abetted by Adam dropping deep, and whichever defender felt like breaking forward at the opportune moment. Adam regularly sped into the box though, and early in the second half he added to his tally with a neat finish.

Paul Tovey, despite picking up an injury, gave Barely a 4-0 lead by converting another pinball moment in the Bristol's penalty box. Then finally The Bristols got the moment their progressive forward play deserved, playing the ball around the Barely back line and converting neatly to bring the scores to 4-1. As the skies darkened there was just time for Adam to claim his hat-trick with a sublime finish from the edge of the box, before the teams called time in the gloaming.

Moment of the Match - many but perhaps Mike's long-range attempt from wide-left that would have sailed in if not for Sam's knee. Special mention to Batt's hat-trick of hitting the crossbar and both posts as well.

Man of the Match - there was no vote, but your correspondent is going for Adam for both effort and achievement.

Woman of the Match - Probably the elegant playmaker Elody who occupied central defence but regularly broke into midfield.

Both teams decamped to the pub, declaring the night a success and vowing to hold a rematch at Golden Hill some time in the Autumn.

Do the Math

Mathern 1 Barely Athletic 1

Sam

Danny           Ian            Batts           Laurie

Paul T        Paul L        Richie

Jamie        Adam          Lefils

Subs: Nick, Mike

The sun may have set on Barely's first season in the over 45's, but that doesn't mean the party is over. A season of fits and starts fixture-wise deserved at least one more game before breaking up for summer, so a friendly away to Mathern was arranged at short notice

With the return of long time absentees Jamie and Lefils Batts threw caution to the wind and went with an attack-minded 4-3-3 with the returnees operating either side of Adam in a front three. Paul Tovey slotted into midfield and behind the usual suspects in defence, Batts charitably gave a hobbling Sam a half in goal.

Any worries about having a keeper who can't actually walk were kept at considerable arm's length though, as Barely went for the jugular from the outset. Paul Loftus patrolled in front of the back four and embarked on what must be a new record in ball-winning tackles, outdoing even his own usual efforts. From there Barely launched attack after attack, with Jamie and Lefils regularly going to the touchlines to receive and Adam making runs into the box. Richie was his usual industrious self and it looked odds-on Barely would get the first goal.


     Richie baffles Mathern with his infamous pole routine

However not for the first time in their long and semi-illustrious careers, they found a spoiling tactic employed by the opposition, who had played an actual goalkeeper actually in the goal, making actual saves and actually commanding his box imperiously. Is that really in the Casuals spirit?

He was the rock upon which the good ship Barely foundered, as crosses pinged into the box were snaffled up with a casualness that Barely have dreamed of. When half-time arrived and the score 0-0, at least they could console themselves that they had pretty much bossed the half, with Sam only called upon to make one save of note, deflecting a shot wide with his actual knee.


    Adam and Paul bisect the ref

Mike had already seen some action as rolling subs, and now Laurie - returning - and Nick - embarking - entered the fray as Lefils and Sam took a rest and Jamie took the goalkeeper's jumper. Unfortunately almost his first action was picking the ball out of the net, as Mathern hit their third (of four) and best shot on target, low and just inside the post. 1-0 and to be fair Mathern had started the second half looking the livelier.


    Batts into row Z!

Barely went looking for the equaliser but couldn't quite find it. Adam shot fractionally wide and at least two players - hard to spot in the melee - brought decent saves from the Mathern goalie as Barely pressed. Committing numbers forward meant they were potentially open to the counter-attack but Batts and Ian at the back were constantly winning the ball and Mike - now between the sticks as Jamie went back up front - was only tested once, when he plucked a decent free-kick out of the air.


    Barely find the goal fractionally too small

With ten minutes remaining Barely's salvation came - after pressure down the left, Richie turned inside two defenders and found his shot repelled by the keeper. But Adam was lurking and swivelled onto the loose ball to fire it into the net, finally cracking the gloveman's resistance.

Barely pushed for a winner but sadly there wasn't time. The ref blew time on another hard-fought cracker and Barely had a few in the running for man of the match - shared in the end by Adam and Paul Loftus. Richie won a bottle of wine, so he won't mind. Barely wended their way home wondering what might have been as the curtain finally fell.

Oh, and Batts for manager!

Patron Saint of Grinding 'em out

Barely Athletic 1 St Brendans 2

Mike

Sam       Ian       Toby       Laurie

Darren         Richie       Batts      

John R

Adam

Sub: John T

With no recognised keeper yet again, Barely were forced to call once more for the man who "doesn't bend" and Mike took up position between the sticks. With no Jacko to dictate play, the burden of pendulum-swinging fell onto the shoulders of Richie in the centre of midfield, abetted by Paul and, making his Sunday debut after several weeks of Wednesday appearances, Darren. Toby also returned and slotted in at centre-back. 

However all the careful team-building and pre-match talk of how good the kit was upturned like a cart full of fruit in the European car chase of a Hollywood movie, as St Brendans tore into the Barely defence from the outset, and it looked like it was going to be a long ninety minutes. 

Credit Barely then, that having held out for 20 minutes before finally succumbing to a goal, they finally got their mojo working having fallen behind. Just as some racers like to bide their time rather than lead from the front, Barely started concocting a few moves in the St Brendans half, and were shading things when the whistle went for half-time. Despite much early pressure, Mike had only been called upon three times in any urgency; twice bending - bending!!! - to get a hand to low shots and divert them around the post. Fortunately Batts had found a good referee as well, as St Brendans are clearly a team who like to have a running, collective monologue as to the apparent shenanigans of the Barely team. It was a good match, but played throughout with a fairly feisty spirit.

Barely began the second half in so much contrast to the first it was almost like they had stepped into an alternate reality - one where they are the fittest team around. Though a team with the quality of St Brendans could never be described as out of it, their best moments were plucked out of the air with relative ease by new goalkeeper Paul Loftus, who was sharing second-half duties with Batts and Sam.

At the other end it was so nearly a different story, but despite edging things in terms of pressure on the back lines, Barely couldn't quite negotiate a way through to test the keeper - their best moments being shots from Adam and Richie drifting wide. However with the clock ticking, Barely suddenly found a saviour in Mike. Good pressure from Adam and John T had won Barely a corner, and when Richie swung it in Mike "the quality is in the" Graney applied the deftest of near-post touches to send the ball through a crowd of players to nestle in the net.

Barely surged. With 15 minutes to go Sam went in goal for his shift and - one save with his feet apart - spent the whole of it watching his compadres banging on the door at the other end. To return to the race car analogy, they were now down to the fumes in the tank and gunning the engine to go past the slowcoaches in front. Mike almost covered himself in glory once more with a header that sailed over. But just as the wheel of destiny can turn in your favour, it can also turn against you - or blow out completely, sending you careering over a cliff to the sound of that bongo noise that Scooby Doo and Shaggy used to make when running on the spot. One rogue St Brendans attack was all it took, slicing through a tired back line and sending an attacker clear to hammer past Sam - clutching at air - at the near post. 

There was no time for another gallant rescue, and despite Barely pushing for another goal, the game ended with St Brendans as gracious in victory as a team who have just kicked you all over the field for 90 minutes can be.*

It was another wide casting of votes for Man of the Match, with Richie, Mike and Batts sharing the prize with just two votes ahead of the peloton represented by Ian, Darren, John T (who had come on and run around like a madman) and Sam. 

Close, but no cigar.

*Okay, it was one guy specifically, but we're allowed some sour grapes after that.

Academic

Barely Athletic 1 Cardiff Accies 2

Gareth

Mark B          Danny         Ian            Sam

Paul L

Al               Jacko               Richie

Adam               Fish

Subs: Batts, Mike

After much last-minute shenanigans over the location of the pitch, the availability of the pitch, and the state of the pitch, Barely and Cardiff trotted out for what might be the last game of the season, since so many teams have bailed on the inaugural over-45's league. Say what you like about Barely's football, but they're very good at turning up.

Batts and Jacko had been scheming and came up with an interesting formation: 4-1-3-2 with Paul Loftus patrolling in front of the defence. Mark Blakemore made his Barely debut at right-back and long term absentee Fish returned to partner Adam up front.

It was an inauspicious start for both sides as they struggled to come to terms with the undulating pitch. But Cardiff looked the most likely early on, when they drew a couple of good saves from Gareth in the Barely goal; tipping a shot over and sending another effort wide via an outstretched foot.

Barely threatened at the other end too: Adam flashed a shot fractionally wide after good approach work by Barely and Richie also threatened. But Barely's breakthrough came from a most unexpected source, when Richie's corner curled all the way across the face of goal and inside the far post. 1-0 to the home side, and inspired by the breakthrough Barely enjoyed a good ten minute spell.

However this ended with some pantomime style football in the Barely box after several opportunities to head the ball clear were forsaken in favour of wild, swinging legs, some falling over and a kung-fu kick on the line from Sam, which failed to stop Cardiff taking advantage of the mayhem by prodding in from close quarters for the equaliser.

The break rolled around with the score still at 1-1 and Barely feeling the game was winnable, as long as they didn't shoot themselves in the foot again. However the second half was only ten minutes old when things took a turn for the worse, as Ian and Gareth expected each other to take control of a ball bobbling into the area and as they hesitated, an attacker stole between them to flick the ball inside the far post.

Barely tried to respond, and the Accies gloveman was the busier of the two keepers. But although called upon with increasing regularity, he never looked fazed by what Barely threw at him, and several attempts skewed wide anyway. Sam's mad dash the length of the pitch could have ended in glory when Adam set him away and he cut inside the first defender - but those mad dashes the length of the pitch do make him quite tired, and he could only feebly stab the ball in the vague direction of goal. Mike's presence on the right (with Batts now on at the back) was a source of some more direct attacking play as he looked to get Adam or Fish away, before the latter limped off after catching his studs in the turf.

And though they huffed and puffed, Barely could not find a way to an equaliser, and a game played in good spirit ended on a disappointing note for the home side.

Gareth narrowly took the Man of the Match award from runner-up Adam, but it was a wide spread of votes with Paul, Richie, Ian and Sam all featuring in the voting. Cardiff took the points though.