Goal: Tom
Defence: Batts, Danny, Ian
Midfield: Adam, Richie, Mike, Paul Loftus, Sam
Attack: Jim, Chris
Subs: Colin, Nick, Paul Tovey, Andy
*
Sometimes things are written in the stars - you're destined to be with a particular person, you're going to land that job, you win the office sweepstake or wander into co-op on the very day they're doing a special on wet-wipes (as happened to your correspondent today. Buy one, get two free!)
But Huggies aside this wasn't one of those days. Barely, for all their efforts, couldn't find a way to deny Nobs a win. And to be fair the home team deserved it; but it was soured by an unsympathetic refereeing display that licensed the glossy scoreline.
Nobs had won their last two games by landslide scorelines and needed three points to claim the championship. Barely had won their last three games after a miserable 3/4 of the season, and needed to stop them if Retainers were to be crowned. And the start of the game was fairly even: for the first ten or fifteen minutes it was a box-to-box affair, even if neither side were able to make the goalkeepers do more than yell instructions. Then the tempo changed as Nobs superior football eased them into a position of slight control. Only slight though; Barely adjusted their game to defending as high up as they could - tricky when playing a sweeper - and trying to hit Nobs on the counter.
It nearly paid dividends. Chris set off on one of his Beagrie-esque runs, feinting this way and that as the rest of the team pleaded with him to pass. Eventually the ball did break to Sam, lurking in the penalty box, and from an oblique angle he brought a good reaction save from the keeper. Nothing came of the corner, and shortly afterward Tom was called on too, blocking a shot from point blank range as Nobs started to rack up the corner count.
However Barely were disgruntled by the goal when it came, as Paul Loftus having won the ball in his own half was cynically hacked down from behind. The referee gave nothing (later saying he could have given a free kick for Paul's own challenge, as though the ref's job is to run a tab rather than actually police the game) and moments later a Nobs effort on goal went under Tom's despairing dive.
Half-time and the whole team felt there was at least a point to be had here. Nobs were as expected assured on the ball and physical - not unfairly so - off it, but their defence didn't exactly have a hermetic seal, as both Jim and Chris had found space and been able to worm their way past challenges.
Andy, Nick, Paul T and Colin all came on as Danny stuck with the Barely ethos and rang the changes. The biggest loss however was Paul Loftus, who had to dash off (in some striking underwear) to work. Sam moved into centre-midfield but it goes without saying he did not supply the same physical presence as Paul. And as the second half began there was a stark contrast to the fine edges of the first - Nobs were undoubtedly on top. But for the goal itself - well, perhaps the ref didn't see a Nobs attacker pulling Tom's arm down as he attempted to catch the ball on his own line. Refs have missed worse than that. But he certainly saw Barely's own cast-iron penalty minutes later as Andy - again having a real impact from the bench - was scythed down with the ball untouched. Barely were up in arms and in this case it's hard to find an 'out' for the ref. There was no other reading of the incident available.
Jim was doing his best to work the Nobs keeper as Barely sought to find a way through, but both goalkeepers were having a good game. Then disaster: Ian chopped down a Nobs attacker in the box and again it was a stonewall pen. This time the ref gave it, and although Tom saved the ball fell kindly to the penalty taker who lofted over everyone into the roof of the net.
Three-nil and sense of inevitability hung over the game like a bad fart. But of course Barely - refereeing issues aside - aren't sulkers when the scoreline looks bad, and through persistence they won a goal back; Jim's speared cross thumped in by the forehead of Paul Tovey.
But it was a mere roadside bag of crisps on the highway to hell, as in the space of minutes Nobs added two more - uncontestable - goals; a goalmouth scramble knocked in from inches and then a deft side-foot steered in from ten yards at the far post. In the middle of the hot sun, the physical game, the disdain for the ref, Barely had other reasons to be grateful the season was finally over: Colin and Ian limped off and Adam and Sam both took knocks.
Barely kept going and both Jim and Andy pulled out good saves from keeper, who had done his bit at keeping Nobs on top. The whistle finally went on a deserved triumph for Nobs and Barely were able to hold their heads high on a very good first half performance - the second was, if not exactly a whimper, the kind of bang you can safely hold indoors.
Paul Loftus' first half performance was enough to get him in the voting for Man of the Match - Richie, Andy, Chris and Jim all featured too, but in the end Adam (3 votes) ran out a close second behind Tom (4 votes) who had been desperately unlucky with the penalty and pulled off three or four other blinders.
With Danny adamant that he doesn't want the boss's role next season however, this will be a summer of transition for Barely. Particularly Chris, who is embarking on some mad fitness scheme in order to compete in 'Tough Mudder' - and announced his intention to score 20 goals next season. He didn't specify which end though.
