Old Boys Put the Nail in Barely Coffin

Nailsea Old Boys 7 Barely Athletic 2

Goal: Tom

Defence: George, Danny, Jim, Rich Batten

Midfield: Paul, James, Jacko, Sam

Attack: Lefils, Ioan

No subs.

With a plethora of injuries and enough bouncing offspring to start a nursery, barely once again struggled to make up numbers for this game. There were officially four billion players absent, so Rich Batten called in Young Jim to the Barely central defence and even-more-newcomer George slotted in at right-back. One bright note was the return of James Fry from an extended hiatus, and he took up the central midfield alongside Jacko.

But all this was pretty academic as Barely began by letting in the quickest, sloppiest three goals since Titus Bramble last walked out at St James' saying "I've just got a good feeling about this one". It might have been different had Sam tucked away an early cross from Paul after a break down the right, but his volley went straight at the goalkeeper. NOBs showed no such hesitancy as Barley pretty much gifted them three peachy chances that they took easily. 3-0 with about ten minutes gone and the word 'relegation' might as well have been sky-written by a plane.

But to be fair Barely were not being over-run. The midfield battle was fairly even and Ioan and Lefils were holding the ball up well in attack. As ever, though, Barely's ability to eke out a chance remained at a premium, and at the break the frustration at the scoreline was balanced by a feeling that Barely were actually playing well. Rich brought Tom into centre-midfield, pushed Jack to centre-back and Jim into goal. With no subs, everyone just had to get their heads down and sweat buckets for the cause under a dispassionate sun. And, after a period of thrust and counter-thrust, Barely scored a delightful goal. Rich combined with Lefils to set off Sam on a storming run (ok, a five yard scamper) down the left, and he drilled a ball into the box where George wellied off a defender and into the net. 3-1 and suddenly Barely had a glimmer of light.

The Barely Reporter would love to relate that the goal turned the game on it's head, that derring deeds were done, swashes buckled and goals galore scored. In fact they were, but another defensive collapse by the team in orangey-yellow and eighties fade from black to grey meant it all happened at the wrong end. That's Barely, in case the the kaleidoscope of horror lost you. With half an hour to play it was NOBs who stepped up a gear and, to use the vernacular, they twatted another four past Barely to one solitary reply, when Bats, haring forward in furious desperation, belted Tom's cross into the roof of the NOBs net. Good to see the boss leading by example, but it wasn't enough to save Barely, who really need to find a full-time goalkeeper, or possibly all chip in for an operation on Steve Pinnell's shoulder.

There was no man of the match vote but the Rich Batten sponsored choice was Ioan for leading the line so well - and obviously answering the call when it came. George made a good impression on the team and it was good to see James Fry slaloming through the midfield again, but overall, though Barely managed a decent 7/10, it wasn't enough. They are now staring down the barrel of a ticking relegation time-bomb between a rock and a hard place, and the only person who can save them - is themselves.(Read that last bit in the gravelly trailer voiceover style if you would).