Nearly Sublime

St Brendans 3 - 2 Barely Athletic

Gareth

Adam        Batts       Mike      Laurie

Sam    Andy L    Paul T     Darren     Chris

John T

Subs: John R, Nick

With combative encounters against St Brendans fresh - or reasonably fresh - in the mind, Batts decided to pack the centre of midfield, aligning the quick feet of Paul Tovey with the mobile and combative Andy and Darren. And it just might have worked, if it hadn't been for those pesky middle-aged men...

Barely broke with tradition and began the game in an alert state. St Brendans were providing a lot of pressure, of course, but the defence held strong. Adam in particular had to be on his toes against St Brendan's big left-winger, who had a fair turn of pace. And Gareth had no cause to be bored as he was called upon to smother the odd ball.

At the other end Chris - taking a turn on the wing - almost opened proceedings with a slaloming run infield, only to see his cheeky chip sail fractionally over the crossbar. Andy was foiled by the keeper as well before Chris's second chance came - breaking through after a long-range one-two with Sam, his finish lacked a bit of composure and trundled into the keeper's arms.

St Brendans do not suffer from stage-fright, however, and when that pesky left-winger finally broke the shackles Adam had him in, he managed to shake off two further challenges before rifling in from a narrow angle to put the away team 1-0 up at the break.

Batts kept with the formation and rolling subs but pushed Darren up into attack, giving John a breather. Everyone felt Barely were at the races, now they just had to prove it. And prove it they did, when they surged back from a position of looming defeat to one of victory. First Darren put Barely in front after negotiating what seemed like seven or eight attempts to tackle him by the same player. They kicked the ball into each others' shins for a while before the Barely man turned and finished inside the far post. Then Andy put Barely ahead with a deflected shot that left the keeper stranded.

Barely could have been even better placed, but having beaten the St Brendan's offside trap Sam fluffed his lines with the keeper at his mercy, wafting the ball into his body. Then the ref waved away appeals at the edge of the box when the diminutive firebrand/moaner was barged over from behind. John Trimble looked like he'd won a penalty when having rounded the goalie, he was barged to the ground. The ref sympathetically took the defender's view.

The sense of missed opportunity loomed large when St Brendans equalised as the Barely lines, as is their wont, began to creak in the last third of the game. The equaliser was as inevitable as the answer to that Edward Woodward joke. And then, woe of woes, a dribble across the penalty box ended with an agonisingly close-to-Gareth's-hand slide rule finish to put St Brendan's back in front.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man, and here cometh Gareth out onto the pitch as Mike took the goalkeeper's gloves. And he so nearly scoreth the goal only for the Barely through-ball to run just out of his reach and into the grateful hands of the 'keeper. There was just time for Sam to scream at the lack of attackers before crossing the ball into the keeper's arms and Chris to chop down that pesky left-winger, before the game closed out, and a sterling performance from every individual couldn't quite manifest itself into what in your correspondent's eyes would have been a deserved point.

"I don't use the word sublime often... and I'm not going to today" Batts said. But he was nonetheless proud of a considerable collective effort. The busy Adam deservedly took man of the match vote as Barely reflected on a job well-performed - if not well done.

Nails ease their way to Victory

Barely Athletic 1 Nailsea Old Boys 4

Gareth

Colin           Danny            Batts          Laurie

Sam            Mike             Chris           John R

Paul Tovey

Nick

Sub: John T

The sun shone blisteringly down on an unseasonably warm September Day as Barely kicked off the new season in style - Barely style, that is: with just the one sub and the patented lethargic start, as they pretty much gifted Nailsea a two goal lead inside the first ten minutes.

With that out of the way, Barely began to smell the coffee and remember that they can, when they put their minds to it, play a bit of football. Batts went for a fairly compact midfield, with Mike patrolling in front of the back line, Paul Tovey holding up the ball behind Nick, and Chris doing a fair amount of work in-between them. Sam and John Rossetti looked to find space down the wing, but mainly found themselves out of breath.

Nonetheless Barely did put one or two moves together, and managed to keep Nailsea at bay until half-time. John Trimble, who had gamely refereed the first half, gave the whistle to Nick and took his place up front. Barely began the second half with a much more robust display; snapping into tackles and moving the ball forward a lot quicker. John Rossetti had already pulled a save out of the goalkeeper when John T was sent through on goal - with a composed finish he got Barely right back in the game at 2-1, with the majority of the half still to play.

However, that was as good as it got for the home team ultimately, as despite the odd flurry - one lovely five-pass move bamboozled the Old Boys entirely before petering sadly out - they concentrated solely on staying upright, as tired lungs and even tireder legs protested against the ongoing punishment. Even the exhortations of Gareth in the Barely goal couldn't quite raise the tempo - what Barely really needed, of course, was three or four subs to keep things ticking over. Without them it was always going to be a struggle - and as the half wore on, Nailsea capitalized on increasingly desperate defending with two more goals to seal the points.

A disappointing start to the season, then, but there were some morsels of promise here if only Barely can get the numbers out to sustain themselves over 90 minutes. Man of the Match saw a smattering of nominees but with Batts and John T tied on three votes each, the gaffer took the executive decision of handing the gong (a metaphorical gong, but a gong nonetheless) to John for not only his goal and pester value up front, but volunteering to ref. Good work!

Next up: St Brendans, on the 25th. 

Home from home

Bristol Barelys 2 - 2 Barely Bristols

A smattering of recollections from the latest Barely run-out with the Bristols supplied by John Rossetti. The teams were mixed, so everyone was a winner - or, everyone drew, in this case. 

*

When we arrived there was just a smattering of Barely’s, we wondered if there would be many Bristol’s.

Then they just kept coming. Not just  a few Bristol’s (they are a 7-aside team) but a full M&S brassiere department full. In the end there were 17 of them. We had 7, so with the help of both team captains (Mike did the biz for us as usual) we ended up with a 12-aside game!

Apparently they had a new recruit who was so unable to cope with this shocking sight she left at some point in tears. Hope she will be brought back in – it must have been very different from expectations.

So even with us extending the pitch (the big pitch being occupied by another women’s game in their same league) it was very busy which gave a low scoring game, ending up 2-2. We played until the lights were switched off at almost 9.30, so despite a late start it was well over an hour. The game ebbed from one to the other, but John Trimble switched sides near the end to help even things up, as Paul was threatening (with the help of some of their key and skilful players) to run away with it.

So to lots of shaking of hands and a great experience had by all. Many of us then retired to the Lazy Dog.

Various good conversations followed. We (Barely) chose their ‘woman of the match’. A great and strong defender and midfielder, also deliberately not a previous man of the match, name escapes me but others will recall. (Sorry I had quite lost it by then and was on to strong cider!).

They selected the totally unique John Trimble, although by then in absentia, as our Man (Woman, Person, Lady?) of the match. While great conversations evolved and one of their previous team turned up now with young child (others with their wives), we did discover some interesting facts.

Firstly one of their team works as an engineer and geologist on North Sea oil rigs. As she said, being also black, she ‘ticks all the diversity boxes!’ We were enthralled by the stories of great hardship endured in this unnatural environment.

The other bit of info was the bird they have as their team motto. Being a bird bore, I knew it as a sea bird, related to the gannet, that occurs in the Pacific off South America. I know, by now you will have guessed it, as you are so knowledgeable. Yes, it is the Blue-footed Booby!

Barely a report

Mystery Team 3 - 1 Barely Athletic

Gareth

Mark         Kev         Batts 

Sam         Jim S        Paul L       Roly         Paul T

Sandy

Subs: Lefils, Mike, someone else

The Barely Athletic Reporter is disorganised at the best of times, but on this occasion we have to confess we don't know the name of the opposition, and have quite possibly got quite a few Barely players names' wrong. There was definitely a third sub as well. Subs were rolling so regularly we can't be sure the above line up actually started the game either - but all of them featured at some point.

It was an unfamiliar line-up on an unfamiliar ground - with Barely down to half a team, Batts roped in half of his neighbourhood and Paul Loftus Casuals veteran Roly. Barely began with a 3-5-2, changed to a 4-4-2, then mixed things up a bit with a kind of celibate-amoeba formation toward the end.

They played pretty well in terms of possession, but - perhaps due to the unfamiliarity - didn't really test the keeper in the first half, and came off with a 3-0 deficit as the opposition played some good stuff through the middle of the park.

The second half was mainly notable for Roly's contribution - as Paul Tovey flicked one of Mike's big throw-ins on, he - aptly - rolled his marker, and finished adroitly inside the far post to give Barely a glimmer of hope. The away team surged like hopeful teenagers at a school disco, but then slumped back against the wall five minutes later as they ran out of energy/testosterone/hope.

A muggy day saw everyone drenched in sweat despite the comparatively sedate pace, and Barely walked off the pitch grateful for the end of a hard season.

As seems appropriate for this report, we don't know who man of the match was.

A Game of Two Half 'Penarth

Barely Athletic 5 - 5 Penarth

Gareth

Nick       Lewis       Batts         Colin

Sam       Mike        Chris        Darren

Paul T

Jim S

Sub: John T

The sun was scorching the earth as Barely and Penarth trotted out for an end of season friendly on the final day of the Premier League. As 20 teams of millionaires trotted out to fulfil mostly-meaningless fixtures, the game to be at was at Brunel Academy, where the English of Barely and the Welshmen of Penarth put on one hell of a show.

Batts forewent his preferred 3-5-2 formation, wary of Barely being caught out at the back perhaps. Instead it was a good old-fashioned 4-4-2, with the lesser-spotted Batts (Lewis) partnering his dad at centre-back, and Colin and Nick at full-back.

They were all busy from the outset, as Barely were under pressure from the get-go.  Penarth, who were heading off on a European tour in a few days, clearly hadn't come for a stroll in the park. However they found themselves on the end of a rather unflattering scoreline with half an hour played. First of all Jim S rolled back the years when he harassed the Penarth back line into a mistake and did the rest himself: 1-0 Barely. Then Lewis - who if he rolled back too many years might find himself with a mouthful of breast milk - showed that his extended absenteeism from Barelyworld had not diminished his ability, as he took possession in his own half and accelerated all the way down the pitch before rounding the keeper and putting Barely two up.

Then when Sam danced around a challenge just inside the box and finished with aplomb to make it 3-0, it looked like Barely had the game by the scruff of the neck. Unfortunately though, Penarth slipped out of their collars and - as Barely collectively made like a bulb manufacturer on a bank holiday and switched off - the team from Wales surged back to level terms just in time for Barely to troop off for the break with their feet full of holes.

One stirring speech - more of a telling-off, actually - later, and the team took to the pitch determined to make amends. That they did, when after a period of shadow-boxing, Paul Tovey rolled his marker in the box - the attendant challenge came in, bringing him down, and Tovey himself converted the penalty to put Barely back in charge. But, like a triumphant child waving his ice cream around on a hot day, Barely's tears were nearly guaranteed. A defender was in close attendance to the Penarth left-winger when the cross came in, but he still managed to steer a header in at the fast post with Gareth grasping at air.

Nick went in goal and Gareth came out for the last 20 minutes for a rarely-seen run-out in midfield. he immediately made his presence felt in the Barely box, causing the one of the few real flare-ups of the game - another came from the unlikely source of Sam scything down the Pennarth left-back, as both teams looked to pile on the pressure.

Then Jim, Darren rolled the years back like a protesting tin of sardines to put Barely in front once more. Unfortuntely nobody at the pub could recall the goal -probably the sun - but we were pretty sure Jim scored it, which wasn't exactly fair on Darren - fortunately the eagle-memoried Paul Tovey (see comments below) was around to right footballing wrongs. Either way, Pennarth came back again; their classy midfielder firing an unstoppable shot from just outside the box to guarantee that neither side would end with a win.

There was no man of the match vote, but Batts and Darren both said Sam deserved it, and nobody argued hard enough to stop him imagining the champagne bubbling all over his face.

Voyage of Discovery

Voyager 3 - 2 Barely Athletic

Gareth

Colin      Batts       John T

Sam        Chris       Paul L      Jim S        Adam

Nick       Lefils

Subs: Darren, Laurie, Mike, Danny

The last game of the season ended in disappointment for Barely, where despite their late pressure, they were unable to find an equaliser that would have perhaps reflected the balance of play overall.

Batts went with his favoured 3-5-2 formation and from the outset it seemed to suit the personnel. Early pressure however came from the home side, and the Barely back line had to be alert: Colin in particular seemed to be rather busy with a series of interceptions and clearances.

At the other end Barely weren't yet at the races, and Batts made early changes with Mike and Darren coming on to freshen things up. But the most the away team could manage before half-tie was a couple testing crosses that didn't quite result in anything positive, and a crunching challenge by Chris on the midfielder who was starting to dictate terms for Voyager. At the other end the walls had been breached, however, and the idea of signing off the season with a win looked depressingly distant as Voyager twice beat non-existent offside traps to saunter into the Barely box and plant the ball past a despairing Gareth.

It was a shame, because although Voyager had their moments and certainly could play some nice football, both goals were to an extent gifted them. So no formation change from Batts, and Barely trotted out for the second half determined to make a better showing.

That they did, with the mounting pressure from the away team finally telling when Sam swivelled to belt Darren's low cross into the net via the goalkeeper's outstretched hand. 2-1, and Barely back in it. But before you could say keep it tight, Voyager's two-goal lead was re-established, a whipped cross from the right headed in from about a yard out. And it might have been worse but for a great save from Gareth, getting down quickly to palm a low shot away.

Barely fought back, and a delightful team effort brought them a second: Chris released Sam down the right and he pulled the ball back for Jim to tuck away, bringing Barely straight back into contention.

But score-wise, that was that. Barely pushed and pushed and several players got a shot or two away only to see them charged down by a resolute Voyager back line. The only other feature of note was a running debate between the Barely forward line and the Voyager linesman: he did seem to be favouring his own defence, but it all got a bit silly and un-Barely-like, resulting in some feisty challenges in a game that was otherwise played in good spirit.

Man of the Match was shared between Chris, Paul and Jim, with a smattering of other names coming up too. And with that the season came crashing to a close, like the curtain closing on a comedian whose final one-liner has fallen flat. We've been Barely Athletic - goodnight.

Sun shines on the righteous!

Chew 1 Barely Legends 5

At kick off Barely arrived with 10 men with Lefils Essome having had a serious night out calling at 10.10 am to say he was sober enough to play.

The game started with Batts playing a 3-5-1 formation, leaving Dazza as lone striker.

                                                             Gareth

                                                  Colin    Mike     Laurie

                                    Alistair    Alex    Chris    Batts    John T

                                                             Dazza

Chew belied their lowly status peppering crosses into the box but with poor finishing . After 30 mins Lefils arrived and we reverted to 3-5-2.  Batts put a through ball to Lefils who then ran across the pitch left to right, turning down all invitations to pass and slotted away with aplomb.

Half time arrived and with the slope in our favour we stayed at 3-5-2 and took the game to Chew. Gareth and the back 3 kept the Chew team at bay but then disaster as Gareth Lewis allowed a deep cross from nearly the byline to dip into the net. 1.1.

Batts then told the boys to knuckle down and play the ball on the floor around the dithering Chew defence. Then Chris played the ball through to Batts who nodded through to John Trimble who was one on one with the keeper.

No problem: John slotted in 2.1, and in the process became the eldest Barely Player to score a goal over taking John Rossetti. 

Chris then plowed in another from close range: 3.1 and Chew knew the game was up. Lefils had time to hit the bar before Dazza rounded the last defender and slotted in 4.1. Gareth still had to make a few quick clearances and Chris and Alistair decided to play keep ball down the right which resulted in Lefils earning a penalty... Batts ran the whole length of the pitch and grabbed the ball. 

The quickest he had been all game on one leg. The keeper was given the eyes. Batts kissed the ball and stroked it into the net Richard Cormack take note. 5.1

It has to be said that Chew were a good footballing side that just ran out of steam.

Man of the match was Gareth for without his resilient net tending and booming goal kicks the scoreline would have taken a very different appearance.....

But at the Bear in they plied us with chips and roasted potatoes - can we play them every week?