Do the Math

Mathern 1 Barely Athletic 1

Sam

Danny           Ian            Batts           Laurie

Paul T        Paul L        Richie

Jamie        Adam          Lefils

Subs: Nick, Mike

The sun may have set on Barely's first season in the over 45's, but that doesn't mean the party is over. A season of fits and starts fixture-wise deserved at least one more game before breaking up for summer, so a friendly away to Mathern was arranged at short notice

With the return of long time absentees Jamie and Lefils Batts threw caution to the wind and went with an attack-minded 4-3-3 with the returnees operating either side of Adam in a front three. Paul Tovey slotted into midfield and behind the usual suspects in defence, Batts charitably gave a hobbling Sam a half in goal.

Any worries about having a keeper who can't actually walk were kept at considerable arm's length though, as Barely went for the jugular from the outset. Paul Loftus patrolled in front of the back four and embarked on what must be a new record in ball-winning tackles, outdoing even his own usual efforts. From there Barely launched attack after attack, with Jamie and Lefils regularly going to the touchlines to receive and Adam making runs into the box. Richie was his usual industrious self and it looked odds-on Barely would get the first goal.


     Richie baffles Mathern with his infamous pole routine

However not for the first time in their long and semi-illustrious careers, they found a spoiling tactic employed by the opposition, who had played an actual goalkeeper actually in the goal, making actual saves and actually commanding his box imperiously. Is that really in the Casuals spirit?

He was the rock upon which the good ship Barely foundered, as crosses pinged into the box were snaffled up with a casualness that Barely have dreamed of. When half-time arrived and the score 0-0, at least they could console themselves that they had pretty much bossed the half, with Sam only called upon to make one save of note, deflecting a shot wide with his actual knee.


    Adam and Paul bisect the ref

Mike had already seen some action as rolling subs, and now Laurie - returning - and Nick - embarking - entered the fray as Lefils and Sam took a rest and Jamie took the goalkeeper's jumper. Unfortunately almost his first action was picking the ball out of the net, as Mathern hit their third (of four) and best shot on target, low and just inside the post. 1-0 and to be fair Mathern had started the second half looking the livelier.


    Batts into row Z!

Barely went looking for the equaliser but couldn't quite find it. Adam shot fractionally wide and at least two players - hard to spot in the melee - brought decent saves from the Mathern goalie as Barely pressed. Committing numbers forward meant they were potentially open to the counter-attack but Batts and Ian at the back were constantly winning the ball and Mike - now between the sticks as Jamie went back up front - was only tested once, when he plucked a decent free-kick out of the air.


    Barely find the goal fractionally too small

With ten minutes remaining Barely's salvation came - after pressure down the left, Richie turned inside two defenders and found his shot repelled by the keeper. But Adam was lurking and swivelled onto the loose ball to fire it into the net, finally cracking the gloveman's resistance.

Barely pushed for a winner but sadly there wasn't time. The ref blew time on another hard-fought cracker and Barely had a few in the running for man of the match - shared in the end by Adam and Paul Loftus. Richie won a bottle of wine, so he won't mind. Barely wended their way home wondering what might have been as the curtain finally fell.

Oh, and Batts for manager!

Patron Saint of Grinding 'em out

Barely Athletic 1 St Brendans 2

Mike

Sam       Ian       Toby       Laurie

Darren         Richie       Batts      

John R

Adam

Sub: John T

With no recognised keeper yet again, Barely were forced to call once more for the man who "doesn't bend" and Mike took up position between the sticks. With no Jacko to dictate play, the burden of pendulum-swinging fell onto the shoulders of Richie in the centre of midfield, abetted by Paul and, making his Sunday debut after several weeks of Wednesday appearances, Darren. Toby also returned and slotted in at centre-back. 

However all the careful team-building and pre-match talk of how good the kit was upturned like a cart full of fruit in the European car chase of a Hollywood movie, as St Brendans tore into the Barely defence from the outset, and it looked like it was going to be a long ninety minutes. 

Credit Barely then, that having held out for 20 minutes before finally succumbing to a goal, they finally got their mojo working having fallen behind. Just as some racers like to bide their time rather than lead from the front, Barely started concocting a few moves in the St Brendans half, and were shading things when the whistle went for half-time. Despite much early pressure, Mike had only been called upon three times in any urgency; twice bending - bending!!! - to get a hand to low shots and divert them around the post. Fortunately Batts had found a good referee as well, as St Brendans are clearly a team who like to have a running, collective monologue as to the apparent shenanigans of the Barely team. It was a good match, but played throughout with a fairly feisty spirit.

Barely began the second half in so much contrast to the first it was almost like they had stepped into an alternate reality - one where they are the fittest team around. Though a team with the quality of St Brendans could never be described as out of it, their best moments were plucked out of the air with relative ease by new goalkeeper Paul Loftus, who was sharing second-half duties with Batts and Sam.

At the other end it was so nearly a different story, but despite edging things in terms of pressure on the back lines, Barely couldn't quite negotiate a way through to test the keeper - their best moments being shots from Adam and Richie drifting wide. However with the clock ticking, Barely suddenly found a saviour in Mike. Good pressure from Adam and John T had won Barely a corner, and when Richie swung it in Mike "the quality is in the" Graney applied the deftest of near-post touches to send the ball through a crowd of players to nestle in the net.

Barely surged. With 15 minutes to go Sam went in goal for his shift and - one save with his feet apart - spent the whole of it watching his compadres banging on the door at the other end. To return to the race car analogy, they were now down to the fumes in the tank and gunning the engine to go past the slowcoaches in front. Mike almost covered himself in glory once more with a header that sailed over. But just as the wheel of destiny can turn in your favour, it can also turn against you - or blow out completely, sending you careering over a cliff to the sound of that bongo noise that Scooby Doo and Shaggy used to make when running on the spot. One rogue St Brendans attack was all it took, slicing through a tired back line and sending an attacker clear to hammer past Sam - clutching at air - at the near post. 

There was no time for another gallant rescue, and despite Barely pushing for another goal, the game ended with St Brendans as gracious in victory as a team who have just kicked you all over the field for 90 minutes can be.*

It was another wide casting of votes for Man of the Match, with Richie, Mike and Batts sharing the prize with just two votes ahead of the peloton represented by Ian, Darren, John T (who had come on and run around like a madman) and Sam. 

Close, but no cigar.

*Okay, it was one guy specifically, but we're allowed some sour grapes after that.

Academic

Barely Athletic 1 Cardiff Accies 2

Gareth

Mark B          Danny         Ian            Sam

Paul L

Al               Jacko               Richie

Adam               Fish

Subs: Batts, Mike

After much last-minute shenanigans over the location of the pitch, the availability of the pitch, and the state of the pitch, Barely and Cardiff trotted out for what might be the last game of the season, since so many teams have bailed on the inaugural over-45's league. Say what you like about Barely's football, but they're very good at turning up.

Batts and Jacko had been scheming and came up with an interesting formation: 4-1-3-2 with Paul Loftus patrolling in front of the defence. Mark Blakemore made his Barely debut at right-back and long term absentee Fish returned to partner Adam up front.

It was an inauspicious start for both sides as they struggled to come to terms with the undulating pitch. But Cardiff looked the most likely early on, when they drew a couple of good saves from Gareth in the Barely goal; tipping a shot over and sending another effort wide via an outstretched foot.

Barely threatened at the other end too: Adam flashed a shot fractionally wide after good approach work by Barely and Richie also threatened. But Barely's breakthrough came from a most unexpected source, when Richie's corner curled all the way across the face of goal and inside the far post. 1-0 to the home side, and inspired by the breakthrough Barely enjoyed a good ten minute spell.

However this ended with some pantomime style football in the Barely box after several opportunities to head the ball clear were forsaken in favour of wild, swinging legs, some falling over and a kung-fu kick on the line from Sam, which failed to stop Cardiff taking advantage of the mayhem by prodding in from close quarters for the equaliser.

The break rolled around with the score still at 1-1 and Barely feeling the game was winnable, as long as they didn't shoot themselves in the foot again. However the second half was only ten minutes old when things took a turn for the worse, as Ian and Gareth expected each other to take control of a ball bobbling into the area and as they hesitated, an attacker stole between them to flick the ball inside the far post.

Barely tried to respond, and the Accies gloveman was the busier of the two keepers. But although called upon with increasing regularity, he never looked fazed by what Barely threw at him, and several attempts skewed wide anyway. Sam's mad dash the length of the pitch could have ended in glory when Adam set him away and he cut inside the first defender - but those mad dashes the length of the pitch do make him quite tired, and he could only feebly stab the ball in the vague direction of goal. Mike's presence on the right (with Batts now on at the back) was a source of some more direct attacking play as he looked to get Adam or Fish away, before the latter limped off after catching his studs in the turf.

And though they huffed and puffed, Barely could not find a way to an equaliser, and a game played in good spirit ended on a disappointing note for the home side.

Gareth narrowly took the Man of the Match award from runner-up Adam, but it was a wide spread of votes with Paul, Richie, Ian and Sam all featuring in the voting. Cardiff took the points though.

Rosetti Steps In

Mathern 1 Barely Athletic 1

Mike

Sam          Toby           Ian           Batts

Laurie         Richie          Al             Nick

John R

Adam

Sub: Gareth

Barely Athletic arrested their early-season slump in form with a hard-earned point over the Severn in Mathern. With key players Danny, Jacko and the two Pauls (Loftus and Tovey) absent, not mention long-term casualties Tom and Sir Jim, and it was down to the bare bones. Stepping up to the plate for his Barely debut was Toby, thrown in at the deep end by partnering Ian at centre-back. Al also returned to the fray after a long absence. With Gareth desperately covering the miles fro Winchester - surely some sort of prize for dedication to the cause there? - Mike stepped into the sticks at a delayed kick-off.

Mathern made the early running. You wouldn't say Barely were swamped, but forays forward were few and far between during the first ten minutes. Gradually they worked their way into the game and even managed a shot - courtesy of Richie - but on the whole it was Mathern's half, even if Mike was only called upon to collect the odd shot trundling straight at him. Gareth arrived and after the briefest of warm-ups took Mike's place in goal, just in time to see Mathern step up the pace a little. There was a flurry of attacks and one of them led to the goal - Mathern broke through the middle and although Gareth got down well to block the ball, it ricocheted off him and inside the near post.

Half-time came with Barely feeling they had perhaps a bit more to offer. Although it had been Mathern's half they hadn't really looked like scoring - until they did of course. We have to give them that.

The rolling subs routine was up and running and Barely upped their game in the second half, possibly unlucky not to get a penalty when Richie was barged to the ground. Though Mathern were still breaking forward, the Barely back line usually got the upper hand. However their counterparts at the other end of the pitch were similarly dominant - for now. As legs began to tire Adam embarked on a series of runs as the likes of Richie and Nick dinked balls over the top for him to chase. Once he even set off courtesy of a back-pass and was erroneously ruled off-side.

But the Barely goal came out of sheer persistence - Al and Sam combined to win the ball back on the right, and Sam sent a ball into the box. Adam clambered past a defender and shot - the keeper saved, but the ball bounced to the feet of John Rosetti, who finished with aplomb, more than justifying Batt's shrewd decision to play him as a number ten. 1-1, and with not a great deal of time left in the game, both sides went for a winner, and both back lines matched each other for obduracy. Aside from the challenge on Richie and a couple of Adam dribbles, Mathern held firm. And the away team similarly kept attempts on Gareth's goal to a minimum.

A game played on a splodgy pitch came to a close with honours as even as the spread of mud on Adam's knees.  Man of the Match voting reflected a very good team performance with a wide spread that included new boy Toby and returnees Al and Gareth. Rejoicing in their shared victory (two votes each) were Adam, John and Sam. More importantly though Barely have shown that they don't have to lose every game between not and 2020 by five goals to nil. Well done everyone!

Axbridge Crossing Troubled Waters

Axbridge 5  Barely Athletic 0

Danny

Batts       Mike      Ian       Laurie

Sam       Jacko      Paul L      John T

Richie

Paul T

Rolling subs: John R, Nick. 

It was an idyllic day for football. A slip nip in the air in a two-hour gap between downpours and Axbridge's scheduling was spot on. If only the same could be said of their crossing...

With no recognised goalkeeper, Danny, Mike and Nick gamely took the gloves and did respectively one half and two quarters each of the game. Barely went with a 4-4-1-1 formation with Richie playing just behind Paul Tovey. They began very well... in fact, although they lacked the composure in front of goal to bemoan the result, they played very well throughout. But they were hit by a series of goals so freakish as to imagine Axbridge had some kind of pact with the footballing Gods. 

Three times intended crosses looped over the Barely keeper and into the net - and two of them came in the first half, which ended with a slightly bewildered Barely team trudging off 2-0 down. The away team had had their chances, with both Paul T and Richie shooting narrowly wide, Jacko heading a fraction over and Sam clipping the post. But they had been not so much sucker-punched as twatted on the head with a plank of wood, Keaton style.

The talk at half-time was to carry on as they had been doing, but although Barely did that, creating more chances, they left themselves open to the counter-attack and Barely's back line had to be alert. Barely carved open more chances but couldn't quite take them. Paul T headed and shot just over the bar. John T and Sam couldn't quite get half-chances on target. Even when they got something on target - Mike's long-range effort; Nick's drilled attempt - it was snaffled up by the keeper.

Meanwhile Axbridge accidentally scored a third, got a face-rubbing fifth when a shot heading wide diverted in off a defender, and in-between times scored a decent goal, a sublime finish from outside the box. The ref mercifully called time and, in a wide spread of votes Paul Loftus was a clear man-of-the-match winner. 

Nobody had a bad game and indeed, Barely could play this well and win. It was a game played in the right spirit by both teams too. Sometimes you just don't get the rub of the 3G.

No Blessed Relief

St Brendan 5 Barely Athletic 0

______

Marcus

Ian    Mike   Danny

Laurie      Paul L     Jacko    Richie    Sam

Adam    Paul T

Subs: John Trimble, John Rosetti, Nick, Batts

St Brendan might be the patron saint of sailors and travellers, but any sense of watchful benevolence dissipated early on in this game. Maybe Saint Barely could be the patron saint of wake-up calls, as if the gentle trials of the previous game had possibly led the the squad to think they could perambulate in a similar manner today, they were sorely mistaken. Though Barely started reasonably well St Brendan's first real meaningful chance - several attacks having been stymied by a hitherto resolute back line - ended up in the Barely net.

There was an element of chance about it. A goal-bound header was heroically pushed onto the post by Marcus, but it ricocheted off his body and into the path of an attacker, who slotted in just inside the opposite post. And before Barely could regroup, they were three down. A cross from the St Brendan left hurtled into the box and Sam's volleyed clearnace went straight into the body of an attacker. Two or three ricochets later and the ball was in the net. Shortly after Ian's accidental handball was penalised in the harshest way when the penalty was given and slotted away.

Having begun, if not brilliantly, then decently, Barely were reeling, and at this point getting to half time without conceding further should be considered an achievement of sorts. They switched to a back four but kept five in midfield, with Adam earmarked to burst forward in support of Paul Tovey up front. However despite his best efforts the main thing Adam burst was a bloodvessel, as the usually philosophical wing-back-cum-striker took one heavy challenge too many and told the perpetrator what he thought about it. The physicality was an unwanted feature of the game - there were a few shoves and barges from St Brendan's that didn't exactly resonate with Corinthian spirit -and moments after flattening Adam he repeated the trick with Jacko.

But minor gripes aside, their football was a class above Barelys', who couldn't even get a semblance of mojo going. Two neat finishes in the second half added to the home team's tally to give them a deserved scoreline gloss - and it could have been worse for Barely, but for some alert keeping by the debutant Marcus.

On a day where nobody really excelled themselves - Richie picking up an injury didn't help their cause - the man of the match vote was spread wide but Adam clinched it - quite possibly for telling the centre-back what everyone else was thinking, as much as his usual tireless efforts. But overall it was the type of day at the office where everyone goes home with sweat stains on their shirt and coffee stains on their trousers. Barely must away to the metaphorical laundromat and return for the next fixture as new men.

Goodbye to all that.....

Here's a bit of history from the climax of last season - a final appearance in the top flight of the two last remaining founder members teams from the casuals league. At the beginning of May both Barely Athletic and Hill Farm met in a bottom of the table clash that saw both say goodbye to their continuous runs in that division. That had both been there when the casuals were a single division of misfits, sufficiently old fat and knackered even back in the day when we rekindled a true Corinthian spirit of Sunday football that has characterised the league ever since. The picture of the teams has Tony Wilner of Hill Farm shaking hands with Barely’s Nick Ambler to his right and Richie Cormack to his left. All three played in the first fixture between the teams when they first met. For the record it was Barely who this time took the spoils but it was a new form of local football that has been the real winner. Almost a generation ago we started a new kind of local league and after the final whistle Barely have gone forwards with a new adventure in the beautiful game, for the really old, very fat and totally knackered and the new over 45s league.