Barely end the season with stirring fightback

Barely Athletic 2 Bathelona 2

Goal: Steve

Defence: Andy, Phil, Quentin, Tom

Midfield: Mani, Jim, Paul, Gareth

Attack: Ioan and Nick

Subs: Rich Batten and Sam

Spectators: Dave and family.

The contrast between Barely' last game and this performance was fairly marked, as the free-flowing footballing cream they produced at the academy gave way to a stodgy bread pudding. And credit must go at least in part to Bathelona for this, as they frustrated Barely at every turn during the first half.

It might have been so different had Barely been able to capitalise on a strong start, but having shaded the opening quarter of an hour Barely were hit first by a goal somewhat against the run of play, and then injury when debutant Gareth limped off with a calf strain. As Rich was yet to arrive, Sam gamely donned the bee-like stripes of Barely and limped on for a gentle perambulation around the right wing. Shortly after (presumably coincidentally) Bathelona began bossing things, scored a second (that going by the surprised celebration was intended as a cross) and thereafter didn't let up their grip on proceedings as Barely held on grimly until half-time. By this time the long-awaited return of Rich Batten had taken place, arm healed, and he slotted in at right-back as Tom pushed into midfield and Sam returned to the bench.

Barely looked for positives but they were thin on the ground - except for the obvious fact they were capable of playing much much better.

Nick and Steve swapped places but other than that there were no changes. Sam urged Dave to get kitted up on the touchline but he bashfully demurred. As it turned out though, what the game needed was a couple of slightly zealous challenges to really get it going, and after Barely forced a goal off a defender early in the second half, both teams obliged as things took a spiky turn for ten minutes or so. Phil was fortunate to get away with a blatant obstruction at a Bathelona free-kick, which prompted a bit of aggressive nuzzling with the recipient. Bathelona in turn made a couple of late challenges as tempers frayed, and perversely the football improved as a result. Bathelona were playing some lovely one-touch stuff down the middle that belied their league standing, but Barely were vastly improving on their first half display, touching the dizzy heights of 'average' as Andy succinctly put it afterward.

They got their somewhat fortuitous reward when Mani's whipped cross was turned into his own net by a defender for a second Bathelona own goal, both forced by Barely's dreadlocked assist-machine. It was hard on the team who'd probably edged things in terms of possession and play over the 90 minutes. But Barely were of course jubilant, and as Bob looked up at the increasingly morbid sky, thinking of the team's safety in bad light, and perhaps dinner, both teams sought a winner.

The only chances, though, were half-chances that tired legs couldn't quite convert, though Bathelona's late flurry earned them a corner that Quentin, not for the first time, was in the right position to clear. Full-time came with both teams in better spirit and a the spoils shared.

Quent's positional play, clearances and cool head saw him steamroller the man of the match award, though following close behind in this correspondant's eyes was Phil, whose spectacular overhead clearance was possibly moment of the match, Jim, who defied his protesting lungs to keep prompting Barely until the end, and Paul, whose indefatiguable running combined with serial header-winning behaviour caught the eye. It must also be noted that after a initially hesitant 5 minutes Rich Batten was back to his high-tempo, lunging, ball-winning best.

So another season is over for Barely and it's been a good one. Plans are afoot to celebrate in the traditional way, but before the great day of dehydration and mysterious bruises comes let us cast a glance over the scoring chart for this season:

Andy LilLford 5
Tom Pinnell 4
Jim Fry 4
Alex 4
Dan Hird 4
Mani Chanfi 2
Nick Ambler 2
Lee Douglas 1
Jerry Gyde 1
Rich Batten 1
Rich Sloper 1
Rich Cormack 1
Bob Lynn 1
Sam Morrison 1

Impressively top-scorer Andy's goals have all come from left-back, Alex scored all his in one game and we think Dan scored all his in two (playing just three games). Jim's goals were all walloped in from "at least 30 yards" and both Sam and Rich Batten have the opposition keeper to thank for being on the chart at all. But they all count!

Barely Claim Runners-up Spot

Barely Athletic 6 Nailsea Old Boys 2

Goal: Nick

Defence: Paul, Ritchie, Phil, Sam

Midfield: Mani, Alex, Jim, Chris

Attack: Ioan, Dan

Sub: 'Young' Rich

Barely Athletic broke the 59 year gypsy curse over them by beating Nailsea Old Boys in a fantastic display of attacking football yesterday, and in doing so made certain of runners-up spot with a game to play.

Both teams entered the game admitting they were missing several regulars, but Barely's long time absentees Alex and Chris slotted in as if they hadn't been away. Or as if the time they had been away was spent learning the mysterious arts of pass and move. Alex had a game he won't forget in a hurry (depending on how feverish the celebrations were), scoring four goals and pretty much dictating the play.

Barely began the game on the up and with only a few minutes on the clock Alex collected the ball from the NOBs keeper's parry and slotted just inside the far past. Owing to a hole in the net there was some confusion as to whether it had crossed the line, and subsequently there was a belated offside appeal, but referee Bob allowed the goal to stand. It was a good start, and things got better soon afterwards when Dan finished adroitly, sidefooting home a cross from the right to put Barely two up under pressure from the keeper.

Sam then limped off, with his balsa-wood groin finally giving way, and young Rich came on in his stead. Barely maintained the pressure and Alex converted a penalty after a handball to put Barely 3-0 up. Surely things couldn't get any better?

Actually, no. At least, not directly. A lovely chip over Nick gave them a toehold in the game before half-time, unfortunately coming from the boot of the otherwise impeccable Ritchie. Shortly after the restart they made it 3-2 with a cracking goal, their young striker turing at the edge of the box and finding the top corner. Barely had the wobbles. NOBs are never the type of team to let their heads go down and they'd just come back from three-nil to three-two. But Barely downed a metaphorical shot of rum and came back at NOBs. And again it was Alex who was at the centre of things, matching NOBs earlier goal with a long distance effort before adding a fifth by finishing neatly as Barely pressurised the box.

It could have been worse for NOBs but for some fine keeping by their custodian and some wayward attempts by Barely, who probably had the blood rushing to their heads ad infinitum with the thoughts of a long-awaited victory over NOBs, who have long been unfazed by Barely's attempts in the past. In the second half Ioan and Dan took turns in goal to give Nick a chance upfront, and Barely's stats man came close, as did Mani and Jim. But the comedy moment of the second half was Dan forgetting the rules and picking up emergency centre-back Ritchie's back pass, allowing NOBs a glimpse of goal somewhat against the general run of play. But they saw off the danger, and their was time for Jim to thump in his traditional 20-yarder just before the final whistle to send Barely home happy.

Man of the match award went to Alex, with no quibbling, but a mention should really go out to the whole team, who played with an assurance born of a run of good form (last week's blip against Hill Farm notwithstanding). Mani was his usual industrious self on the wing, Paul a dynamic presence at left-back, Dan and Ioan's link-up play a delight, and Nick and Ioan didn't pick up any backpasses whilst manning the sticks. Ritchie and Phil were solid at centre-back. Space does not permit a lengthy list of eulogising of each player but everyone can pat themselves on the back.

In fact it has to be said that Barely seem to play better on astro-turf, having scored fourteen goals in two games on plastic this season. That said, everyone will be champing at the bit to play against Bathelona on Wednesday and finish the season on a high. Wednesday cannot come soon enough!

To the victor the spoils. Barely.

Barely Athletic 2 Hill Farm 1

Goal: Steve Pinnell

Defence: Andy Lillford, Quentin Alsop, Joe 'Danny' Daniel, Tom Pinnell

Midfield: Manrouf Chanfi, Jim Fry, Rich Jackson, Sam Morrison

Attack: Nick Ambler, Ioan Williams

Subs: Dan Hird, Rich Sloper.

After a prolonged stand-off over whether to use the flat pitch or the one on a camber, these teams kicked off on the latter, having been told not to play alongside some minors enjoying a game that was, frankly, a lot better quality than this one. Having played on Sunday the pre-match talk was all about who was aching the most, hardly a great omen for some quality football.

Sure enough, anyone watching the opening ten minutes might have thought they were witnessing the birth of a soccer-rollerball hybrid, as the teams kicked the ball into each others shins around the centre circle to no great effect. Barely's misgivings about their play were only matched by the relief that, at this stage at least, Hill Farm were performing no better. In truth the team in red shaded the first fifteen minutes as Barely performed their traditionally sluggish opening routine, but Steve wasn't tested in goal due to the superlative reading and intercepting of Quentin and Danny.

Barely, as is their wont, finally got some moves going with Andy and Mani linking up well down the left, and Tom making his habitual bursts down the right. But the final product wasn't there, and Barely were reduced to speculative efforts that the Hill Farm keeper was equal to - Jim's long-range chip being pushed over the crossbar and Ioan's overhead effort producing the same result. Barely couldn't capitalise on the corners. The closest they came to a goal was when a mis-hit ball bobbled between the legs of a defender and found it's way to Nick's feet, one on one with the keeper. As surprised as anyone, Nick still managed to get a shot away, but the keeper saved. At the other end Hill Farm carved out a couple of openings but had the same lack of killer instinct as Barely. The most dramatic moment of the first half came when an unfortunate Hill Farm player twisted his knee and had to hobble off.

At half-time Jim rang the changes in an effort to shake the team out of it's lethargy - a plan of ambition and optimism, almost akin to tipping someone out of their wheelchair in the hope they'll walk again. Nick took to the sticks and Steve took his place up front alongside Dan, who replaced Ioan, whilst Mani took a turn on the bench for Rich Sloper. Sam and Tom also agreed to rotate full-back and right wing duties, which played out it's own sub-plot later on. Everyone agreed that Barely should win this game, the opposition weren't much cop, and in the opposite camp no doubt an identical conversation was taking place.

Hill Farm started the second half on top and Barely couldn't get going. But Hill Farm's long ball game was meat and drink to Quentin and Danny, who can read the game with a casualness that others read cereal boxes over breakfast. But at the other end it still wasn't happening, and Barely had to rely on Nick's safe handling more than once as Hill Farm began taking pot shots when they found the space. The game looked destined for a scrappy draw.

Then with ten minutes left, possibly in a covert bid to be relieved the full-back role, Sam swung a tired leg at a free-kick in his own half and promptly gave the ball away. Two quick passes later and the ball was goal-bound. Danny's despairing foot slowed it, Nick pushed it along the line, but Hill Farm were there to boot it over. Game over.

Or was it? Steve had other ideas, and he wasn't about to be distracted from them by Bob's offer of taking his place for the last ten minute - eyewitnesses said afterwards his meaty fist narrowly missed Bob's chin. With five minutes to go, Tom set Steve away down the right. Steve pounded his way into the box and swept in a low ball for Mani (back on for Jim) to clip past the keeper at the far post. 1-1, and Barely finally moved up into third gear. Could they snatch a dramatic winner? Cue Steve: again darting down the right, another low ball at speed, and this time Pinnell Junior was there at the near post to sidefoot in for the latest of late winners. There was some initial debate about whether Pinnell Senior was offside, but Jim vouched for him being level with the man on the far side of the pitch. They don't call him 'honest Jim' for nothing and Barely could celebrate with clean conscience when Bob blew for full-time.

To put the tub-thumping to one side, neither side really deserved to win this game as neither really produced a vintage performance, though both had their moments. But Barely will take the points nonetheless, and Steve Pinnell took the man of the match award for his dramatic late impact. Next game, however, they will hope the fatigue that gripped them against Hill Farm will be absent, as a similar performace would probably see them trounced by Nailsea Old Boys. Let's hope that they get more than three days rest between now and then.

Barely comeback eclipses Red Star

Barely Athletic 3 Red Star Bedminster 2

Goal: Steve

Defence: Andy, Tom, Danny, Sam

Midfield: Ritchie, Jim, Rich, Jeff

Attack: Manrouf, Nick

Subs: Ioan, Jerry.

Barely recovered from a dreadful start to this game to come back from a two goal defecit and claim the win. On a warm and slightly sticky day the backbone of the squad turned up ready to roll, but unfortunately the liver of the squad wasn't fully functioning after the previous night's escapades saw the gang dehydrate themselves en masse, with Ioan in particular looking slightly shaken, and Jerry, a man who looks underwhelmed by life at the best of times, failing to make the kick off. In his stead came old boy Jeff who began on the right wing.

Despite a tidy first five minutes Barely were making no headway in the opposition half, and slowly Red Star began to make their pressure tell. With fifteen minutes gone the ball was sent pinging around Barely's box and fell kindly to an attacker, who made no mistake in putting Red Star deservedly ahead. To add injury to insult, Steve managed to tweak his back but bravely played on. He was to regret that decision shortly, as Barely failed to get any momentum and Red Star kept them boxed in their own half for lengthy periods. They extended their lead when a quick break down the left saw Red Star's nippy winger cut inside Sam and beat Steve with a deft chip from the edge of the box. Two-nil down, and Barely could have no complaints.

However Red Star were unable to sustain the pace they had set indefinitely, and having performed indifferently for half an hour, Barely suddenly found a bit of form and starting chasing the game. They were galvanised by Andy Lillford's latest goal, a trademark hotshot from the edge of the area that found it's way into the net via a deflection. Only a goal behind, Barely sensed a game, and Manrouf began pulling the defence this way and that as Barely looked for a way through. They began creating chances but could not quite manage to convert them - not that is, until Tom picked up a ball on the left from a corner and drilled it goalwards. Red Star's keeper blocked the shot but Nick had gambled on the loose ball and side-footed in, opening his account for the season and sending Barely into the break on level terms.

At half-time Jerry came on for Jeff, who'd had a stirling 45 minutes winning countless headers, though estimates put the figure at around nine. And Barely began the second half where they ended the first, pressing Red Star and searching for goals. Red Star in turn looked to score on the break and Barely's back line had to be alert, which, relatively, they were. But most of the action was at the other end as Barely battered Red Star's penalty box - and Red Star held out. Mani headed a yard wide. Rich's near-post effort was turned away for a corner. Ritchie's cross-shot cannoned off the woodwork. It seemed like a draw was in the offing. Then with quarter of an hour to go Sam launched a free kick into the box, and the keeper came to gather but found the ball bounced off his chest - and Tom was on hand to slot in his third goal of the season. Certainly an element of luck to the goal - but Barely felt their second-half performance merited the lead.

Red Star had one or two moments as they tried to get back in the game - aided by an obviously bored Jerry - but by and large Barely held sway until the final whistle, with Ioan coming on for the last twenty minutes and firing narrowly wide. Red Star can count themselves unfortunate to be on the receiving end after bossing the first half hour so comprehensively, but in fairness Barely's recovery should be saluted, not least Mani who took the man-of-the-match accolade when the votes were counted, a classy display of line-leading, link-up play along with his patented header-that-goes-just-wide.

Now they have to do it all again (apart from letting two early goals in) on Wednesday against Hill Farm.

Monday make a bleak Wednesday for Barely

Easton Monday 2 Barely Athletic 1

Goal: Steve Pinnell

Defence: Ioan Williams, Tom Pinnell, Quentin Alsop, Sam Morrison

Midfield: Ritchie Cormack, Jim Fry, Rich Jackson, Nick Ambler

Forward: Manrouf Chanfi, Martin Remmers

No subs.

Barely can look back on this game and feel reasonably proud. It was, age gags aside, by no means vintage but against an obdurate and well-organised Easton they, for the most part, held their own. But the game started off in farcical fashion when Easton managed to smack home a goal before Barely had limbered up, which they prefer to do once the game starts to save energy. Cutting a swathe down the middle, Easton caused chaos in the Barely box before an attacker volleyed home from a narrow angle.

Against a team who battered Barely 5-0 last season, this wasn't the greatest omen. And sure enough, like vultures sensing the imminent demise of a footballer crawling across the desert, Easton continued to circle as Barely tried - and failed - to attack on the break. Twenty minutes in, it had been pretty much all Easton and Barely could only hope that as they swayed against the ropes taking body blows (this is a boxing analogy now, forget the vultures) they could find and opening and hit someone in the face (metaphorically, obviously) when the chance arose.

In the first half no such chance did, but after weathering that prolonged storm Barely started finding some inroads and began testing the Easton defence a little bit more, forcing a few corners and sprinkling some barnstorming breaks from deep by the impressive Tom and Quentin. One such foray from the latter forced a free kick some 25 yards out, and Sam, demonstrating an impressive speed of thought, quickly blasted it high and wide. After an earlier corner that he curled into touch, it wasn't the day to resuscitate a dead ball for the marauding right-back. But Barely took heart that after such a gruesome half they were only a goal behind and, possession-wise, back in the game.

Such optimism was shortly consigned to the dustbin of nostalgia though, when Barely replicated their sluggish start to the first half by conceding a second shortly after the break. Allayed to Ritchie's calf-strain and an absence of subs (the voluble Lee Douglas and less-voluble but still-there Rich Sloper aside, who were attendant but injured) this meant things looked a little bleak for Barely in terms of an Ali-style comeback.

But to be fair Barely carved out some chances. A decent move ended with a powerful Manrouf header flying narrowly wide, and the Gallic speedster, who caused concern with his direct running all afternoon, will be disappointed not to have connected better with a sidefooted effort shortly afterwards. Sam felt he might have had a penalty after he was "cynically chopped down" - his words - in the box, but no-one else appealed.

However Easton shaded the action, with the Barely defence the busier of the two outfits and Quentin and Tom in particular called upon frequently to stifle attacks before they bore fruit. When Easton did break through, they were denied by the safe hands of Steve, who even threw himself into a post at one point, such was his dedication to the cause. And Barely finally got a reward for their efforts when Jim slalomed © his way through midfield, exchanged a one-two with Ritchie and walloped the ball into the net. "It only goes in when I close my eyes" he confided later, presumably talking about the goal.

Barely had renewed hope, but renewed energy, alas, was beyond them, and as the sun disappeared behind the trees and the players shuffled about in the gloaming Bob Lynn sensibly called time on proceedings. Despite the result, an enjoyable game for Barely and a decent performance from which they can glean several positives. Once again the centre-back pairing were impressive and Rich Jackson offered a composed head in midfield amidst the blood and thunder, with some tidy passing. But if Barely could start each half at full-speed they might be looking at a draw in these types of games. That said, Easton were worthy winners and Barely look forward to crossing swords (or sparring) (or crawling across the desert in search of water) with them again.

Doctor called in after Mr Gyde claims another Victim!

Whilst the season trundles on in search of a game like an old woman looking for tinned peaches in a newly-refurbished Waitrose, lurching from aisle to aisle in search of something that remains seemingly unobtainable and possibly no longer stocked anyway, your Barely scribes sit in the office flicking pencils at each other, picking lint from their navels and occasionally making funny sounds with a plastic ruler, desperate for some drama that'll fill those column inches.

Thankfully Jerry Gyde stepped up to the plate last week with some spectacular and nausea-inducing knee-mangling of the unfortunate Lee Douglas. Despite Douglas' insistence that any contact was incidental in the predictable closing-of-ranks that footballers always practise on such occasions, Jerry Gyde's autobiography "It's easy when you're me" (launched on Saturday) spoke otherwise:

"I saw Douglas going up for the header. Bang! I let him have it, going for him in mid-air with the old stud-rake and then using my elbow on his knee to break the fall. No-one tells me to drop deep and defend." Despite Gyde's ghost-writer claiming it was all a misunderstanding, Jerry himself refused to denounce the paragraph in question, sending booksellers all over Bristol scurrying to the bargain bins to drag the book in question back on to the shelves in anticipation of a media frenzy.

Last night Barely co-manager Jim Fry remained diplomatic: "I'm sure Jerry regrets any contact - and any contact there was was unintentional. These things tend to be a storm in a teacup and the fact Lee has to wear a leg brace for six weeks is really nothing more than a private joke between the two men". Fry's grasp of physiology and humour aside, the press will be waiting in packs for the drama to unfold on Douglas' return. Until that happens, however, the staff writers here will be playing a lot more online Boggle and leaving wet teabags on each others chairs.

Hats off to Hird

Russell Athletic 1 Barely Athletic 8

Goal: Lee Douglas

Defence: Andy Lillford, Quentin Alsop, Tom Pinnel, Sam Morrison

Midfield: Rich Cormack, Jim Fry, Rich Sloper, Rich Jackson

Attack: Mani Chanfi, Dan Hird

Ref/Sub: Bob Lynn

Sometimes in the Premiership, managers take advantage of a week off to take their players somewhere hot to sunbathe, relax, bond, and possibly have a fire extinguisher fight and get into trouble with the local constabulary. Barely grasped this idea by the horns, ran with it and, aided by the preciousness of Bristol groundsmen, took to the field four months to the day since their last outing. In the interim they had seen a few birthdays, a curry night, the results of Pop Idol and Celebrity Big Brother, and another Christmas go by. The world had changed.

The tactic worked wonders as the team meshed two debutants, Dan Hird and Rich Jackson, with returning libero Quentin Alsop and relatively-new-boy Rich Sloper to maximum effect.

Both teams were both keen to avoid the notoriety of most-postponed-game in history and agreed to play on Astroturf as a result, though the day was actually dry, giving rise to the meteorological term of ‘ironic weather’. From the off it looked as though the pitch suited Barely, and the freedom they were granted in midfield saw them boss the opening half comprehensively. There was such a flurry of activity that this correspondent’s head begins to hurt at the thought of laying it all out chronologically, but to sum up: Two goals from Dan, whose ability to hold the ball up was as exemplary as his finishing, one own goal scored off Rich Sloper’s cross, one that the keeper, under pressure from Sloper, punched into his own net from Sam’s corner (the dubious goals committee (Rich Jackson) awarded this to Sam in the post-game analysis) and one thumped shot from a tight angle after a Cormack/Morrison build up from another corner - by the ubiquitous Sloper, who seemed to be involved in some way in almost every goal.

At the other end a gushing mention should go out to the partnership of Tom and Quentin at centre-backs, making the loss of Phil and Danny less of a problem than it might have been. A petition must be started immediately for Quentin’s permanent return. Andy Lillford was his usual industrious self, attacking down the left at every opportunity.

In the sticks Lee had little to do and busied himself with a running commentary throughout the game, breaking off only to roll the ball to an attacker early in the first half and catch the resulting shot. So out of breath was he at the break that he volunteered to stay in goal for the second half, where the Lenny Bruce-as-goalkeeper show continued unabated.

As one might expect, Russell regrouped during the break and put on a better showing in the second half, shutting up shop at the back and forcing a goal of their own when Barely managed to lose the ball in a silly position from a goal-kick. Though referee Jim (with Bob now in thunderous-striker mode) blew for a free-kick when Lee’s ball didn’t leave the area, he rightly allowed the evident advantage - and Russell took it.

But this mishap was negated by two cracking moves sweeping the length of the pitch that were finished with aplomb by Tom (woefully out of position by the way) and Bob, who cracked scorchers past the home ‘keeper. Dan Hird topped a debut to remember by forcing the ball over the line with the last kick of the game after Bob’s header had been initially blocked on the line.

It was a tough call for man of the match with so many players having a good day at the office but Dan Hird deservedly shaded it for his dream debut when the vote was cast. Can Barely keep this standard up? If so it’s not impossible they have a shot at finishing in first place. However, a pivotal factor in the championship is playing all your games. At this rate Barely might just squeeze in one more before next season.

A word should go out to the Russell players, who refused to disintegrate into tantrums and showed Barely how to accept a horrid scoreline graciously when their turn inevitably comes.