Goodbye to all that.....

Here's a bit of history from the climax of last season - a final appearance in the top flight of the two last remaining founder members teams from the casuals league. At the beginning of May both Barely Athletic and Hill Farm met in a bottom of the table clash that saw both say goodbye to their continuous runs in that division. That had both been there when the casuals were a single division of misfits, sufficiently old fat and knackered even back in the day when we rekindled a true Corinthian spirit of Sunday football that has characterised the league ever since. The picture of the teams has Tony Wilner of Hill Farm shaking hands with Barely’s Nick Ambler to his right and Richie Cormack to his left. All three played in the first fixture between the teams when they first met. For the record it was Barely who this time took the spoils but it was a new form of local football that has been the real winner. Almost a generation ago we started a new kind of local league and after the final whistle Barely have gone forwards with a new adventure in the beautiful game, for the really old, very fat and totally knackered and the new over 45s league.

Barely's New Horizons

Barely Athletic 3 Voyager 0

Tom

John      Mike      Danny

Sam      Jim       Jacko       Paul L        Adam

Nick      John

rolling subs from
Laurie, Batts, Paul T, Al

Barely's great new adventure - the inaugural fixture, in the inaugural over-45's league, with the inaugurally bagged-up kit - ended with the strangest sensation, not felt for something like two or three seasons: of being deserved and clear winners.

At half-time there must have been one or two flutters, however. Having bossed the first half in terms of possession and chances, Barely hadn't managed to break the deadlock - the exception being Sam's dribble around the keeper to finish after a through ball from Paul, which was tragically chalked off due to the ref having blown up for a handball by the Voyager back line. WHAT KIND OF A DECIS- - anyway, Sam took the free kick, but it was pushed out for a corner by the keeper.

Barely had had the lion's share of possession, but were also finishing like lions - lions in football boots - with Paul's long-ranger flying over the bar and Nick's header, after good work from Adam, drifting wide. Onion bag apart, Barely's 3-5-2 was looking golden at this point, with Jim Fry adding some deft footwork to Paul Loftus' aggression and Jacko's calm distribution. Key to the whole shebang though - as recognised in the man of the match vote later - was Mike Graney's work at the back. Tasked with man-marking Voyager's danger man, he didn't give him a sniff all game. Barely haven't looked this well-drilled since the last time they organised a night out.

But despite their good work the break came with things all square. And when the game restarted Voyager had regrouped. The away team's best spell came over the next fifteen minutes, as Barely took a turn on the back foot. Tom was called upon a couple of times, although not stretched.

Then Barely took the lead out of nothing. Paul Tovey - having his best game by far in a Barely shirt (maybe it's the new kit), turned and hit a powerful shot from distance - a great effort, matched by a great save from the keeper, who pawed it up in the air. But as the keeper landed the ball came down behind him, and bounced into the net. 1-0.

Barely took heart and took hold of the match again. Whilst Voyager still looked more threatening than they had in the first half, Barely were scything through the defence again with Adam and Sam dashing down the wings, Paul controlling every ball hit near him and John terrorising the Voyager back line with his constant running. Another attack down the left and the ball fell to Adam, who took a touch before doubling Barely's lead with another cracker, going into the top of the net from outside the box.

As Voyager threw everything they could forward Barely broke on the counter at will. John - on for John (surnames would be handy!) scored on his Barely debut when Sam sent Paul away down the right, and his low cross deflected off the desperate glove of the keeper. There was nearly a fourth when Al capitalised on confusion in the box to poke a shot fractionally wide.

It's unlikely the whole season will be this delightful. But three points, a clean sheet, and a great squad performance - Barely couldn't have wished for a better start. The only blot on their day's work was poor Jim's knee caving in on his return after three years away. It looked like a hospital trip at first but it was a relief to see him walking normally after the game: like a man broken by life.

That aside, it was the perfect start in Barely's brave new world.

Past it

Pass Masters 4-0 Barely Athletic

Goal: Pete

Defence: Colin, Batts, Al, Chris

Midfield: Craig, Paul L, Jacko, Sam

Attack: Adam, John

Sub: Mike


It's like a footballing purgatory - another fixture, another defeat, as Barelys struggle to maintain a flimsy veneer of 'squad football' continues. It was another trawl across Bristol for willing volunteers to make up numbers yet again, as injury absentees Jim, Ian, and Scott were joined by an ill Richie, and Danny made the trip to Liverpool to watch his beloved reds wallop Spurs.

Sadly his beloved orange and blacks, meanwhile, were being handed a lesson in chance-taking. Batts counted 14 efforts on goal for Barely in the first half, yet they came into the break 2-0 down, as the clinical finish of the Pass Masters forward was added to by a rather harsh penalty - Batts again the alleged perpetrator, but he clearly got the ball and nobody had seen a pen except the ref. Pete - who was arguably Barely's best player on the day - got a hand to the spot-kick but it had the power to deflect into the net.

With a goalkeeper between the sticks it looked hopeful, but missing Richie's incision and Jim Siemen's finishing, Barely created half-chances in the main, generated by the industry of Adam and John up front. They did get the ball in the net - Sam heading home Jacko's cross from the right - but it was disallowed for offside. A shame, as Jacko being the furthest man forward and Sam winning a header are two things that only come around once every few years - having them coincide was like a lunar eclipse.

Craig was feeling an injury at half-time so Mike came on in his stead. And, as the first half had been, there was a sense of to and fro to the game in that both teams had their moments, but neither could make much of them. Home and away goalkeepers excelled and frustrated the attacks. Halfway through the second half Jacko rejigged the team, with Mike going between the sticks to give the energetic Pete a run-out. However although Pete had an impact outfield, Barely missed his athleticism in goal, where Mike was beaten twice in quick succession. Mike's willingness to don the gloves is admirable, but perhaps Barely should be volunteering somebody who doesn't admit in the post-mortem that they "can't bend".

Barely knocked at the door but in fairness the legs were slowing and the footballing pendulum that had begun looping from one end of the pitch to another was swinging slower, and more centrally, as the seconds ticked away under the hot sun. And the whistle went on another hiding.

Barely have gotten out of a similar situation before of course, but at the moment they just don't seem to have any momentum, and getting anything from this season looks like a big task.

There was no man of the match award but all the "guests" - Pete, Al, Chris and John - made a good impression and would have been in the running. Maybe there's something in Adam's suggestion of replacing the entire team after all...

if it looks like a defeat, and it smells like a defeat

AXA 3-2 Barely Athletic

Goal: New Colin

Defence: Scott, Nigel, Batts

Midfield: Chris, Richie, Jacko, Paul L, Sam

Attack: Adam, John

Subs: Mike, Colin, Jim


... it's a defeat.

But it could have been oh so different.

After a series of cancelled matches due to Barely being unable to muster a team, Colin's plaintive round-robin email about the club's very existence must have struck the odd nerve, or tugged on a heartstring, as suddenly the team had assembled a decent-sized squad for a crunch game, away to AXA or whatever they are called these days.

Paul had pulled in centre-back Nigel and goalie Colin, Sam had recruited occasional Barelyite Chris and John had also answered the call. All began the game in an alleged 3-5-2 that in truth was more like 5-3-2, but in either capacity it served the away team well enough. They began unusually alertly - closer to a squirrel awaking from a nap than their usual bear-in-spring opening - and shocked everyone by taking the lead in the opening minutes. Chris Scott careered down the right and centred for John to prod the ball goalwards. The keeper pushed it away only to find both Sam and Adam rushing in with intent - the latter was better placed and steered the ball home to give Barely an unexpected lead.

AXA came knocking on the door, as both teams seemed to reel from the shock. Through-balls were batted away, corners cleared and balls in the fabled channels were wellied into touch. There were at least two goalmouth scrambles farcical enough to merit a few hundred hits on youtube had anyone had the foresight to film the game - sadly they didn't, and missed John bravely blocking a shot with his face.

But Barely rode out the storm and reached the break still 1-0 up, if not exactly bossing the game. Mike made an appearance up front as John made way, and Jim and Colin Smart were told to be ready for when the time came. Midfield dynamo Paul Loftus was due in the cockpit soon and would have to dash off halfway through the second half.

But in the meantime it was back to the action and Barely, perhaps finally believing it could be their day, were doing more in the way of attacking. And one such surge - saw Chris take Richie's through-ball and scamper into the box, only to be unceremoniously upended (this correspondent has yet to see a ceremonial foul, to be honest). With the Holy Grail of a 2-0 lead moments from their grasp, Barely had to hunt for someone willing to take the spot-kick, and found a calm head/glory-seeker in Sam, who steered the ball beyond the keeper's glove and into the net.

Suddenly Barely found their long-misplaced collective mojo, and for the next ten minutes it looked almost certain that if anyone were to score again, it would be Barely. They pressured an AXA back line who suddenly looked distraught, as though they'd been holed up in a fortified basement only to find zombies had broken in.

Paul had to go, and Jim came onto the right wing as Chris moved infield. Chris later blamed himself for the subsequent events, mooting that he was an inadequate replacement for Mr Loftus. But let's face it, no-one can replace Paul. He's a badger.

And Chris' hairshirt can stay in the cupboard either way, as there was a fairly obvious foul on Batts in the lead-up to the first AXA goal that the now-refereeing John - perhaps unsighted, or perhaps feeling the same sense of tragically misplaced invincibility that the team were - let slide. Having pushed Batts aside the attacker then lobbed Colin to give AXA hope, and set a tremble to the Barely legs.

There was no crumbling. Barely tried to continue with what had been working so far - harass, and attack. But maybe the average age difference between the teams began to make itself felt as the minutes ticked toward the 90. Maybe Barely's tiny seed of doubt didn't need much water to grow. Or maybe the planets aligned in an elaborate formation, spelling 'Fuck You' across the sky, because before anyone knew what was happening AXA had won.

First Batts - perhaps subconsciously seeking revenge - hurtled into his earlier assailant in the box. Although he later insisted he got the ball first, nobody contested the penalty, which was dispatched into the bottom corner to make it 2-2. And then, despite Richie and Adam leading a late charge that resulted in a salvo of Barely efforts on goal, there was just time for AXA to run into the box and slot the ball neatly inside the far post for a somewhat fortuitous win. Barely simply cannot buy a result at the moment.

It was a very good game and the team effort was reflected in the voting for Man of The Match with a wide spread of names include perennial favourite Richie, Jacko, Nigel, Paul and Chris, But Adam's commitment to the cause and insatiable appetite for pain (he cartwheeled through the air after a challenge in the first half and came off the field with a black eye)  saw him a convincing and deserved winner. The hastily-rigged award reflected the result - shit.

They're all crunch games now.

nil point

Wick Burn Barely Out

Wick 4 Barely Athletic 3

Goal: Tom

Defence: Batts, Danny, Scott

Midfield: Adam, Jacko, Pete, Paul L, Sam

Attack: Richie, Christov

Subs: Paul T, Mike, Colin

With the incessant rain providing thematic backdrop to Barely's season so far, the planned game at Wick's home ground was moved to an astroturf pitch somewhere in East Bristol. Locals Batts and Adam were on home turf - the rest of the squad were at the mercy of the GPS.

Barely have a decent track record playing on astroturf - they've meted out hidings to people in the past. But the past is, of course, a different country, and the last time Barely took to a synthetic surface they took a beating themselves. This time they hoped things would be different - they actually had subs.

Barely began the game on the back foot - probably a good sign, as breaking from tradition might have confused everybody. But thanks to the efforts of a rugged back three - Scott filling in for Ian in the rumbustious challenge department - and the adroitness of Tom in goal, Barely saw off the early surges and worked their way into the game. However they couldn't quite work their way into the goal, as an equally-rugged Wick back line produced a fine line in quick feet and cool heads. Barely's glimpses of goal were half-chances, or belted from distance like Sam's effort, which was unfortunately straight at the keeper.

Then disaster! For all Wick's elegant midfield play they scored in the most inelegant manner, bundling home a corner as it pinged around in the Barely box like a rubber hand-grenade. Could this be the start of the latest collapse?

No. Barely instead scored a lovely goal, from one end of the pitch to the other with Richie clipping a fine ball to Adam, who looped a cracking finish over the keeper from an acute angle. All Barely needed to do was keep a clean sheet until half-time... but disaster! Another Wick attack down Barely's left ended with the ball at the feet of an attacker on the edge of the box - he swept it in gracefully around Tom, and it was back to square one.

Jacko had already brought Paul T on in his stead at half-time and made no further changes in the break. Barely were playing pretty well on the whole, and their was an air of tentative optimism, the kind David Moyes' wife might have if United make the champions league this season.

If Wick edged the first half it's fair to say the second was a more even affair, with Christov and Richie seeing more of the ball, running at the Wick defense and causing a bit of panic. Richie had a shot into the side netting and set a chance up for Paul Loftus, sliding in Gazza-style, who put it just wide. Both teams were threatening though and Tom was busy. And then disaster! - it was Wick who got their third that seemed to put the nail in the coffin - 3-1 with less than a quarter of the game to go.

But then out of nowhere Barely scored the type of goal that gets tight-trousered pundits purring on Match of the Day: Scott and Sam combined on the left, Richie turned in the box, somebody (Adam?) threaded the ball to Jacko as he scampered through the back line - and showed immense composure in  chipping it to the back post, where Richie volleyed in. An absolute delight and the best team goal this correspondent has seen since those halcyon days of the Lilford-Fry-Jackson triumvirate.... ah, that was a triumvirate, that was... where was I?

Oh yes, so it was 3-2 and then Wick went up the other end and - disaster! - scored again. Everyone on one side of the pitch thought it was offside but Danny - now running the line on the other - kept his flag down, later saying it was "close", with an admirable air of Zen. Now it was 4-2 in Wick's favour, and with time ticking away like time tends to do, Christov's lovely through-ball and Adam's calm finish for 4-3 was just too late in the day. The horse had bolted. The ship had sailed. The baby was sitting in an empty bath, looking pissed off.

It was a grim result but a good game played in the right spirit. Everybody contributed but as well as the usual suspects (Richie, Adam, Tom) and man-of-the-match Batts there were a some of stand-out performances from Scott and Colin in defense, and Paul's recruit Pete made himself known in the midfield. Added to the calm and guile of Jacko and Paul T, the mercurial feet of Christov and it added up to a good performance - man of the match voting went to seven candidates.

But the end result was a disaster.

If we could just sort out those tricky first 65 minutes

Bathelona 7 Barely Athletic 1

Goal: Tom

Defence: Batts, Ian, Danny

Midfield: Scott, Paul L, Jacko, Chris S, Mike, Sam

Attack: Adam

Subs: Cristoph, Paul T, Colin

The rate Barely are going, in a couple of years this won't be a football blog but a support group. The 2012-13 season was spent reeling around like a boxer on his last legs, only to land three lucky punches in the final round. Now, as they enter the 13-14 season, he's managed to fall out of the ring and land on one of those plastic chairs.

Today's game was a farce in more ways than one. First off, Bathelona neglected to tell anybody they didn't play their games in Bath any more, so the Barely squad made an unnecessary trip to the city of sandstone only to find out they were expected in Keynsham. Bathelona's defence was that the venue had "been up on their website" for some time. However it transpired that none of the Barely number had thought to check, as they were busy with jobs and families and things like that. Everyone made a mental note to change their homepage, so when next year the fixture is scheduled in Ogbourne St George's School for the Terminally Absent-Minded they would know in advance, rather than having to rely on that classically thorny method of communication, telepathy.

Anyway here they were, trotting out in Jacko's experimental 3-6-1 line up with Wednesday regular Scott making his debut at right wing-back and Sam on the left. Jacko flooded the midfield with four more bodies including Sam's mate Chris, who helps out about once every four years. Adam was left to plough a solitary furrow in attack.

It started badly. Barely were struggling to get nodding terms with new personnel and formation when Bathelona, who began brightly, knocked in a couple of goals to acknowledge their ascendency. One was decent, the other an unlucky ricochet off a post, onto Tom's back and straight to the feet of an attacker.

There was a hasty reshuffle. So far Barely had been less a well-oiled machine than a well-oiled but hastily-arranged office party. Jacko changed to four at the back, keeping five in midfield, and brought on Cristoph for Mike. The team - stirred up by a succession of Ian's challenges - consolidated, reaching half-time with the game still potentially rescuable at 2-0.

At this point there was no sense of what was to come. Barely were like the innocent blonde in the opening of Jaws, running naively into the sea, unaware of the torture and eventual footballing death to come. Admittedly the shark had already scored two goals, so perhaps she could have stayed on the land, but unfortunately for the team there is no refusing to go back in the water. I.e. on the pitch.

It's been a long day.

The second half unfolded like a bleak Wagnerian opera. Wave after wave of Bathelona attacks came at them, and despite some real heroics from the defence - Tom in particular - as a unit Barely didn't seem able to deny them space. Bathelona's football was very good, and even better was their finishing. Tom in his most inspired form had no chance against some superbly-placed shots, and even less against an attempted cross that sailed into top corner. The lucky gets.

It got so one lost count. It got so Bathelona actually volunteered to discard a goal that the ref was happy to let stand. Actually he was happy to let most things stand, though the game by and large didn't suffer for it. In the midst of all this Jacko took himself off and made space on the left wing for Paul Tovey, who showed his usual deft touches and composure. But Barely were playing on the deck as the ship sank.

The last 15 minutes loomed and perhaps Bathelona took their foot off the gas a little. Certainly Barely kept trying, none more so than Adam, whose sheer effort alone was enough to get him man of the match (Chris S, Paul L and Sam as one-vote runners-up in a landslide). Chris set off on a run down the inside right, surging past a couple of challenges and into the box to fling a cross to Adam. Adam's header was straight and true, but sadly inches wide of the post.

Adam returned the favour for Chris with a neat set-up and his belted finished cannoned off the cross-bar. Surely Barely deserved something from this? They got it in the end - from the sheer persistence of Paul Loftus, who in a sustained period of yelling and shoving forced the keeper into his own net as he leapt to catch the ball. It shouldn't have stood, but at that point the ref probably felt sorry for Barely.

Time was called and Barely adjourned to the bar. The tone was surprisingly upbeat considering the hiding they had, but there is work ahead if this is not to be another season of successive six-pointers.

Blue Monday

Barely Athletic 3 - 4 Easton Monday

Under darkening skies the Barely Boys took the field with a spring in their step, lining up:

                   Tom
Scott, Ian, Danny, Batts, Colin                        Paul T (lino)
    Rich C, Jacko, Pilot Paul                              
        me (Adam), Chris

The theory was that the full-backs would bomb on, overwhelming the midfield but Barely had a slow start and would have been two down in the first five without some very generous play from the Monday striker. Colin pulled up early bringing Paul T into the game.

Spending the first twenty minutes under the cosh Barely fought back with Rich and PP taking control of the midfield, with strong help from Scott and Ian majestic at the back, and with their confidence growing Chris ran onto a through ball from your narrator and skipped along the edge of the six-yard box, defenders cowering, before delicately passing into the corner.

Ten minutes later a Rich C cross was cleared out to the D of the penalty box from where Jacko whacked it into the far corner ("I just passed it in"). Two-nil up without playing well, we wondered what would happen when we did click?

At half time the rain strengthened to downpour status but after some rousing words from Danny Barely came out strong with PP whacking the ball home after some pinball involving Paul T in the box. But that was as good as it got. 

Monday pulled one back soon after as the slippy ball evaded Tom. Five minutes later we turned attack into defence with astonishing speed and a free header at the far post gave Tom no chance. We then held on gamely for twenty mins with Tom called into action time after time, then Chris sprinted through 1-on-1 with the keeper, not told he had time he shot against the shins when he could have gone around. Soon after I volleyed agonizingly over from the penalty spot after a neat flick from Scott (who was a constant menace down the right in every sense of the word).

Almost inevitably the slippery ball caused the equaliser and then winner, and in spite of throwing everything at them for the last ten minutes (I wouldn't have wanted to get in Batts way as he marauded down the wing, but somehow they did) and it just wasn't to be.

Can we put it down to a lack of fitness, or missing the rotation that a couple more subs would have allowed?

Due to running around and shouting a lot I got Man of the Match, but it doesn't reduce the sting...