Monday, 5 November 2007

Barely Shot Down By Cowboys

Barely Athletic 3 Easton Cowboys 5

"We're a league team" insists Fry.

Goal: Steve

Defence: Andy, Danny, Tom, Sam

Midfield: Richie, Jim, Rich, Gareth

Attack: Nick, 'Young' Rich

Sub: John.

Unable to muster more than 12 players, Barely took to the field looking a little ragged but up for a game. Danny and Sam played with colds, Gareth returned from lengthy injury lay-off, and Jim needed a painkilling injection of nicotine before he could kick a ball. No-one can say Barely are not men.

Barely usually lose to Easton and they usually lose in the cup so in a way the result was a foregone conclusion, but by golly Barely gave it everything they had, plus a little they didn't. They began on the defensive but with Danny reading the game as perceptively as ever, and Tom fleet of foot to cover the through-balls, Steve remained for the most part untested as Barely sought to make incremental forays in the other direction. As they managed to settle the team began putting a few little moves together, but they remained vulnerable on the counter-attack and had to remain alert.

However Barely's first concession came from a corner, as an attacker stole in at the far post to cannon a header into the top of the net. Sam, guarding the post, was simply bypassed by elevation. Before the team could draw their breath it seemed Easton had another, this time helped by a non-existent offside decision from Bob the ref. However not having supplied a linesman Barely had no grounds for complaint when the ball was subsequently swept in from close range. Two-nil down, and Barely at this stage hadn't looked like scoring.

So Andy, fed up with it all, just ran past about three players and smashed the ball goalwards. The keeper got a hand to it but not enough to stop the ball going in off the post in a very Darren Anderton vs Sweden-in-the-last-minute sort of fashion. His exuberant celebrations were not exactly Corinthian but it was the filip Barely needed, and when the second half began they played their best football of the game for the first twenty minutes of it.

John's presence (on for Gareth) boosted the midfield with some snapping interceptions and snappier passing, and suddenly Barely were at the races. They shrugged off a third goal by Easton to come back to 3-2 when 'young' Rich deftly headed in Andy's cross after excellent work down Barely's left - the focus for most of their attacks. But, enthused by a potential comeback, Barely began to leave spaces and combined with tiring legs it was room for Easton to exploit, which they duly did. Two sublime lobs and one near-post finish Nick was disappointed not to save later, and Barely were out of it. A generously awarded penalty from Steve (Bob became a player for the last ten minutes) was despatched by Tom but by that point there was only one winner, and Easton deserved it overall.

A good game played in the right spirit by both teams, and one Barely can take heart from in that despite the missing persons they still played some flowing football, and when they get the defence sorted they look in good shape for another strong season.

Man of the Match went to 'Young' Rich Walter for his ceaseless running and superb goal, shaking off the close attentions of Andy and Richie who provided most of Barely's attacking threat. But there were no losers yesterday, football was the winner, so on and so forth...

Sunday, 9 September 2007

LILLFORD RESCUES BARELY

Russell Athletic 2 Barely Athletic 2

Goal: Steve

Defence: Rich Batten, Danny, Phil, Andy

Midfield: Barry, Rich Jackson, Jim, Manrouf

Attack: John, Nick

Sub: Ritchie Cormack

What a way to start the season. A first-half performance that had the sublime and ridiculous rolled into one messy football sandwich, a fading second half from Barely only for Andy Lillford to knock in a cracking free kick at the death to rescue a point.

It was a muggy September day and Russell's home game was held at the Old Bristolians club - a damn fine pitch, if a little firm. The manicured grass boded well for Barely early on as they took the game to Russell, who were suffering the handicap of being a player short. Despite that Russell held their own defensively but Barely, with their extra man, were edging possession and at one stage seemed sure to score only for the Russell keeper to race from his line and deny John with a smart stop after a Jim Fry through-ball.

But, the dropped jaws of the assembled ring-rusty Barely players, it was Russell who took the lead - and disappointingly for Steve it was direct from a corner. The incoming ball had pace and swerve and Steve, looking suprised, got both hands to it only to see it deflect into the roof of the net. Not an own goal, but not pretty either. Mind you, David Seaman used to do that sort of thing all the time. And he was an England international with an attractive wife and some pedigree dogs.

Barely picked themselves up and looked for an equalizer - but though they were ekeing out some chances here and there in the main they were repelled by a sturdy Russell back line. The breakthrough eventually came when there was a handball - disputed, but when aren't they - in the penalty area and Ritchie pointed to the spot. Up stepped Jim who placed the ball neatly to the keeper's left, and thus it stayed until half time shortly afterwards.

Ritchie and Jim shuffled things a little at half-time, with Ritchie bringing himself on for debutant Barry, and taking up a position somewhere in the midfield, we think - hard to pin down exactly. Steve came into the outfield as Nick pulled the gloves on for his traditional second half. But Barely seemed to lose momentum after a good opening ten minutes, and Russell began to dominate. This was before their 11th man finally showed, and any desperate hopes that "it's harder to beat ten men, so this'll be easier now" were cast adrift as Russell's dominance became stronger, and around the hour mark they scored, a low ball back into the box from a Barely clearance being sidefooted in by an unmarked attacker.

Barely tried to rouse themselves. They attacked, and Russell countered. The longer the game went on the more likely another goal looked, but which end was impossible to tell. Several times Barely attacks broke down and they were rescued by Phil, Danny, or at one stage a spectacular diving tackle from Rich Batten, from the resultant Russell counter. At the other end Barely managed to get some shots off but they were generally smothered by the keeper, and at one stage deftly turned over for a corner. Tension mounted. With stoppage timing looming, barely launched themselves forward again, and Ritchie burst towards the box only to be cynically chopped down. Sam, now reluctantly reffing, only failed to book the offender because he didn't have a yellow card. Or a pen. Or a notepad, for that matter. But he gave the perpetrator a very stern look.

Nonetheless the damage was about to be done. Andy Lillford, last season's top scorer, stepped up and belted the ball into the top left-hand corner to send the players into a kind of sedated pandemonium, such were the state of their bodies at this stage after a barbeque-al-fresco-fuelled summer. Only a minute later the whistle blew for full-time and it ended honours even. Probably just about fair, in that the teams shaded a half each, and of course, scored the same amount of goals which in these instances tend to be pivotal. But Barely knew they'd had a lucky escape, especially considering the top-drawer save Nick had pulled out of his locker (metaphorically) to keep the deficit to a single goal only five minutes previously. They will hope to up their conversion rate at the next game.

Man of the match award was a tight one, with Mani, Andy and Danny to name but three standing out in the eyes of your correspondent. Ritchie gave the team mobility when he came on, but the vote deservedly went to Jim Fry for his usual string-pulling roll in midfield, and of course lthe levelling goal from the spot. With the opening fixture out of the way and a point on the board, Barely will be looking to try and replicate last season's good form here on in.

Thursday, 14 June 2007

Barely Athletic Golf Society (BAGS) Masters 2007

Friday 8th June 2007, Lansdown Golf Club

The BAGS arrived (minus WAGS, of course) in a state of nervous anticipation for the keenly awaited 2007 Masters Championship….drivers polished, irons scrubbed, tees selected and balls washed (ooh err missus).

This year’s event, however, promised a few new challenges.

Firstly, the weather looked like it might be on our side for once – something of a change for golfers who are more used to battling high winds and torrential rain.
Secondly, a new course against which to pit our (limited) wits and skill. The old venue of Stockwood Vale had served us well, but held too many distracting memories of the follies of youth (for Jim) and equally distracting well-crafted fantasies conjured up by those whom Jim had chosen to share his breast-related Cider with Rosie-esque experiences. Also, Stockwood Vale only ever served Chicken for lunch and Lansdown promised Gammon & Chips with Apple Pie – easy choice!
Lastly, there was the unprecedented challenge of a dress code of all things! Bob, organiser of the day and Lansdown Member, had drilled the BAGS on the requirement for golf shoes, tailored shorts/trousers and collared, ideally pastel shade shirts. Clearly Bob, now possibly regretting offering his Club for the BAGS Masters, feared he may shortly be an ex-Member of Lansdown Golf Club! The BAGS, however, rose to the challenge and would have graced the fairways of Augusta itself. The same though cannot be said of Bob, who turned out in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirt and would not have looked out of place on the set of Miami Vice (as one of the dodgy beach front dealers who hang out under the pier).

Anyway, 10 am came – tee off time. The teams were as follows:

Captain BirdsEye (Quent), Tom & Rich J
Captain Jack Sparrow (Bob), Richie & Billy
Captain America (Jerry), Steve & Danny
Captain Caveman (Ioan), Jim & Nick

A full commentary of the day cannot be given, but suffice it to so say that all drove, chipped, sliced, pulled and putted their way around and a fine time was had by all.
After a remarkably speedy round (it’s all relative, you know) of just under 5 hours (!), the BAGS retired to the Club House for refreshment and the Prize Giving!

Special welcome to two BAGS Masters virgins – Rich J and Tom (a potential bandit, but was decent enough not to win).

Player of the Day (in this Reporter’s opinion) was Jerry who led his team to victory, returned the best score of the day, came joint runner up overall Stableford and Captained the eventual Champion.

A further extra special mention for Ioan who bravely managed to play despite being unable to straighten his leg (after dislodging a chunk of cartilage in his knee - another freak Wednesday night footie injury). Pain killers, freeze spray, roll ups and a stiff upper lip got him through with flying colours though!

Finally, a very big thank you to Bob for organising the event and risking his continued membership of Lansdown. Many thanks Bob!

Golf pics galorious!



































Clockwise from left:
1 Danny – 2007 BAGS Masters Champion!

2 Jerry Gyde (again!) Steve Pinnel (left) and Joe ‘Danny’ Daniel (right) scoop the Team Prize.

3 The Champion! Danny receives the BAGS Masters Green Jacket from previous two time winner Ioan Williams. Clearly Danny is a tad surprised by the additional initiation ceremony being performed by Mr Williams from the rear (don’t think this is part of the Augusta Prize Ceremony, which is their loss of course)

4 Time to relax after the Ceremony. Mr Williams, clearly unhappy at something said by Richie, does his Alan Sugar impression – “Cormack, you’re fired!”

5 The BAGS Masters 2007 Competitors!
N.B. those with a keen eye will notice Bob still has his golf shoes on. This is the only sad episode of the day to report – someone swiped his loafers from the dressing room while he was out on the course. If anyone has any information relating to this crime, please contact Crime Stoppers. A reconstruction of the disturbing event will be screened on BBC Crime Watch this autumn.

Golf pics galore





























Clockwise from bottom left:
1. Jerry Gyde and David ‘Billy’ Cotton accept the joint runner up prize for the Masters.

2. Bob Lynn (left) accepts the thanks and appreciation of BAGS for organising the 2007 Masters (and the Trinny and Susannah ‘Best Dressed Player Award’).

3. Rich Jackson receives the Nick Ambler Award for ‘Best Value Round of the Day’ (i.e. most shots taken) – golf balls to replace those lost and a cigar (kindly donated to Jim to assist with his pre-season training regime).

4. Tom Pinnel picks up the prizes for Longest Drive and Closest to the Pin (by default as no one actually managed to hit the green on the Closest to the Pin hole)!

5. Ioan Williams (left), Master of Ceremonies, presents Jerry Gyde with the prize for best round of the day.

Thursday, 17 May 2007

Barely end the season with stirring fightback

Barely Athletic 2 Bathelona 2

Goal: Steve

Defence: Andy, Phil, Quentin, Tom

Midfield: Mani, Jim, Paul, Gareth

Attack: Ioan and Nick

Subs: Rich Batten and Sam

Spectators: Dave and family.

The contrast between Barely' last game and this performance was fairly marked, as the free-flowing footballing cream they produced at the academy gave way to a stodgy bread pudding. And credit must go at least in part to Bathelona for this, as they frustrated Barely at every turn during the first half.

It might have been so different had Barely been able to capitalise on a strong start, but having shaded the opening quarter of an hour Barely were hit first by a goal somewhat against the run of play, and then injury when debutant Gareth limped off with a calf strain. As Rich was yet to arrive, Sam gamely donned the bee-like stripes of Barely and limped on for a gentle perambulation around the right wing. Shortly after (presumably coincidentally) Bathelona began bossing things, scored a second (that going by the surprised celebration was intended as a cross) and thereafter didn't let up their grip on proceedings as Barely held on grimly until half-time. By this time the long-awaited return of Rich Batten had taken place, arm healed, and he slotted in at right-back as Tom pushed into midfield and Sam returned to the bench.

Barely looked for positives but they were thin on the ground - except for the obvious fact they were capable of playing much much better.

Nick and Steve swapped places but other than that there were no changes. Sam urged Dave to get kitted up on the touchline but he bashfully demurred. As it turned out though, what the game needed was a couple of slightly zealous challenges to really get it going, and after Barely forced a goal off a defender early in the second half, both teams obliged as things took a spiky turn for ten minutes or so. Phil was fortunate to get away with a blatant obstruction at a Bathelona free-kick, which prompted a bit of aggressive nuzzling with the recipient. Bathelona in turn made a couple of late challenges as tempers frayed, and perversely the football improved as a result. Bathelona were playing some lovely one-touch stuff down the middle that belied their league standing, but Barely were vastly improving on their first half display, touching the dizzy heights of 'average' as Andy succinctly put it afterward.

They got their somewhat fortuitous reward when Mani's whipped cross was turned into his own net by a defender for a second Bathelona own goal, both forced by Barely's dreadlocked assist-machine. It was hard on the team who'd probably edged things in terms of possession and play over the 90 minutes. But Barely were of course jubilant, and as Bob looked up at the increasingly morbid sky, thinking of the team's safety in bad light, and perhaps dinner, both teams sought a winner.

The only chances, though, were half-chances that tired legs couldn't quite convert, though Bathelona's late flurry earned them a corner that Quentin, not for the first time, was in the right position to clear. Full-time came with both teams in better spirit and a the spoils shared.

Quent's positional play, clearances and cool head saw him steamroller the man of the match award, though following close behind in this correspondant's eyes was Phil, whose spectacular overhead clearance was possibly moment of the match, Jim, who defied his protesting lungs to keep prompting Barely until the end, and Paul, whose indefatiguable running combined with serial header-winning behaviour caught the eye. It must also be noted that after a initially hesitant 5 minutes Rich Batten was back to his high-tempo, lunging, ball-winning best.

So another season is over for Barely and it's been a good one. Plans are afoot to celebrate in the traditional way, but before the great day of dehydration and mysterious bruises comes let us cast a glance over the scoring chart for this season:

Andy LilLford 5
Tom Pinnell 4
Jim Fry 4
Alex 4
Dan Hird 4
Mani Chanfi 2
Nick Ambler 2
Lee Douglas 1
Jerry Gyde 1
Rich Batten 1
Rich Sloper 1
Rich Cormack 1
Bob Lynn 1
Sam Morrison 1

Impressively top-scorer Andy's goals have all come from left-back, Alex scored all his in one game and we think Dan scored all his in two (playing just three games). Jim's goals were all walloped in from "at least 30 yards" and both Sam and Rich Batten have the opposition keeper to thank for being on the chart at all. But they all count!